Being married to a Wolf is filled with many hours of contemplating is divorce an option. So many questions arise for the follower of Christ in addressing how this will effect them. Please check out this link, from Mars Hill Bible Church in Michigan, by Rob Bell. It will be well worth your time.

http://marshill.org/teaching/2010/07/11/matthew-5-jesus-and-divorce/

What Santa Claus, Fairy Godmothers, and Genies Reveal About Our Wolfness

Think of your last prayer. What did you say? What did you request? Was your request like a list sent to Santa Claus, or a wish made to your Genie or Fairy Godmother? Or were you having a two way relationship asking him how you could best serve him and reflect him to others?

Recently I have been reading Francis Chan's book "Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit". It has challenged me to check my prayers. Chan's challenge is for us to not view the Holy Spirit as "a commodity to be bought or traded according to our individual wants, whims or even our felt needs". Indeed, how often are my prayers directed by my individual wants, whims or felt needs. God does want us to bring all of these things to him, but he also desires to have a two-way relationship with us. When we have a two-way relationship we are also seeking out what the other person wants and what their felt needs are. So the question for each of us, while we move beyond our wolfness, is to ask "What does God want from me?", "How does God feel about what is happening around us and beyond us?", "What does God want me praying about?" and "What does God want me doing?"

When we do seek God and what he is wanting from us, we still need to be de-wolfing our actions. Often times, when we are doing the work God has called to us too, others notice our efforts, rather than his efforts through us. Francis Chan challenges us that "a sure sign of the Holy Spirit's working is that Christ is magnified, not people....Let's pray that God would empower us so radically that we would get no glory. That people would see our works and glorify God."

Can you imagine what would happen in your marriage if you were asking God how he wants you to represent yourself as a husband or wife today? He knows best how he wants to be reflected through you. Ask him! Remember, God does want us to take our requests to him. And, when we are surrendered to his way and his time, our requests will become more Christ-centered rather than self-centered.

Will The Real Wolf Please Step Forward (Team Jacob or Team Edward)?

Last night I saw the lastest movie in the Twilight series and it made me think of Wolves. Countless females (of all ages) have joined the ranks of Team Edward or Team Jacob with the underlying question of who is best for Bella! I think there is a very valuable lesson in how we choose a mate. Some may be offended that I am using a vampire/wolf story line with scripture, however, the reality is that countless teens and women are following this story line and indeed it is shaping views of what love is!

First, let's explore what Edward has to offer. He is charming (he even sparkles in the light). He says he would give his life for Bella (and has come close). He loves her with a intense love. He has learned to control his vampire desire for human blood and only consumes the blood of animals. And, to top it off, he is a true gentleman and wants her to maintain her purity till marriage. Edward does have his limitations though. He doesn't have life blood running through his veins, so he can't provide Bella with the practical human need of body warmth when she is freezing to death. For Bella to really be with Edward she will have to surrender her life and become a vampire.

Jacob loves Bella also. Ironically, Jacob is a wolf and by wolf I mean a real wolf. Even though Bella has professed her love to Edward, Jacob still loves Bella and does his best to protect her even at the expense of himself. Jacob is a little rough around the edges and has a harder time controlling some of his emotions. Jacob still has life blood running through his veins, so he can provide Bella with the practical! He keeps her warm when she is freezing to death. For Bella to be with Jacob, she doesn't have to change. She doesn't have to give up her life as she knows it.

So what is the right answer? Each week I encounter Wolves and their spouse. The stories have a common theme. The Wolf was charming at first! They had this intense passionate love at first! Overtime, the spouse of the Wolf looses themself. Their world becomes one that revolves around the Wolf, his/her needs, wants, and demands. The spouse often feels like the life blood has been sucked out of them? Hmmmmmm?

The real questions are "Has Edward's nature really changed?" "Is he capable of unconditional love?" "Does Bella really understand what she is sacrificing to be with Edward?" To be with Edward, she has to go through the transition of being self-consumed by desiring human blood more than anything.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (Message Translation) says
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut.
Doesn't have a swelled head.
Doesn't force itself on others.
Isn't always "me first."
Doesn't fly off the handle.
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others.
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything.
Trust God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back
But keeps going to the end.

Team Jacob, what do you think? How does Jacob measure up? Team Edward, what do you think? How does Edward measure up? As much as I personally am drawn to the character of Edward, at my core I believe Jacob is the better choice. Bella's relationship with Edward reflects the modern day "romance addiction." In the long run, those type of relationships have ALOT to overcome. They usually don't last forever. Whereas, the "practical love" of Jacob has the ability to stand the test of time.

When Amongst Wolves, Do NOT Defend Yourself

A person with a healthy self-esteem knows how to stand up for themselves. However, when you are in a relationship with a Wolf, this may not be the wisest thing to do. Wolves are master manipulators and masters at creating the image they want other's to see. When situations arise where you are getting the blame for something you didn't do, or your intentions are being misconstrued by a Wolf, take a step back before you react.

First, is your heart right before God in what you were doing. Take a moment to pray about the situation and see if their is any wrong doing on your part. If there is, seek forgiveness from God and from the person you wronged. It is our responsibility to be reconciled with others as much as it is in our power to do so.

However, if you are right before God and you were doing what He had directed you to do and you are still being accused and condemned...you are in good company. Remember, the Pharisees were relentless with Jesus. Or how about Elijah, Queen Jezebel was relentless in her pursuit to get rid of him. Wolves don't like anything or anyone who exposes their selfish motives, even if it is just mere kindness of another.

Psalms 37:6 LB) says "Your innocence will be clear to everyone. He will vindicate you with the blazing light of justice shining down as from the noonday sun." Who defends you? Remember God will defend you! Psalms 37:7 goes a step further and says, "Rest in the Lord; wait patiently for him to act. Don't be envious of evil men who prosper." God knows there is a time when it will appear like the Wolf is prospering, but He wants us to be patient and rest in him. He knows! And, when He is readly, He vindicates with the blazing light of the noontime sun! Psalms 37:8 says while you are waiting to "Stop your anger! Turn off your wrath. Don't fret and worry-it only leads to harm." Clearly, God has other ways of dealing with self-absorbed Wolves that are beyond our understanding. We don't need to worry. We don't need to complain. We don't need to defend. We need to be careful that our reaction isn't in anger, as this will only lead to harm. We are told to rest and wait!

What is happening right now with the Wolf in your life where you need to rest and wait? God will intervene in His time and His way!