In the modern day world, I have no doubt that Naomi would get diagnosed with PTSD or Complicated Grieving! She had lost her husband, both her sons, and she was living in a different country. In her day, a woman couldn't just get out there and take care of herself! Her culture made her dependent on men for provision. However, amidst all this loss and tragedy, she understood that God was the one who took care of her, no matter what!
When someone has suffered tragedy, there is a season of grieving and in that season considering others is difficult. Somehow Naomi managed to do this though. She had two daughter-in-laws, Ruth and Orpah, who had also just lost their husbands. Rather than keep them as her companions, she told them to go back to their families. This was a selfless move on Naomi's part! In so many ways it was in her best interest to have them stay with her. They were younger and had the potential for remarrying, guaranteeing her provision. They were a way for her to stay connected to her sense of family as they had been her sons wives. But, she knew they needed to move forward and not be tied to the past.
Interestingly, Orpah went home. I wonder why? She accepted the gift laid before her to have a fresh start and to stay in her homeland. Ruth, however, stayed. She took Naomi's selfless act and returned it with her own selfless act. What is surprising to me is Naomi's response. Somehow in Ruth's gift to stay with her, Naomi goes into deep despair. Rather than being able to see the blessing, she becomes blind by her loss. When Ruth reaches her homeland and is greeted by her friends, she tells them to call her Mara, meaning bitter. Ruth blames God for all her affliction. He has made her life bitter. He has taken everything away. Certainly, this is a normal reaction in grieving; to blame someone, to feel hopeless. Is it the comfort of Ruth companionship that allows Naomi to finally let go and grieve?
There are times in our lives when we will be consumed with issues. Both Ruth and Naomi had cause. However, Ruth was able to recognize that Naomi's loss was great. Yes, she had lost a husband, but Naomi had lost a husband and two sons. Ruth was able to step outside of her loss. Naomi wasn't.
I wonder what gave Ruth the ability to recognize this. What in her upbringing gave her such strength? She had been a Moab, which means she didn't even worship Israel's God. What allowed her to be selfless? What had gone on in her relationship with Naomi prior to the loss of their husbands/sons that Ruth became SO loyal? Ruth's character was revealed in this moment!
In your moments of suffering, what is revealed in your character? In no way is this question meant to infer that one shouldn't grieve. Greiving is healthy and important. But, in our grieving, are we able to still be selfless? Are we able to consider others? Ruth was. Naomi initially was, before she spiraled. Maybe God knew that Naomi would need someone to be the strong one for her. Is God calling you to be the strong one in your relationship?
Join me next week as we look at God's sovereignty as Ruth goes to the fields and finds the man of her dreams!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Eve, The First Real Housewife
Eve is the women of many firsts! She was the first to have a man fall madly in love with her, the first wife ever, the first mother ever, and the first to design "green" eco-friendly clothing. She won Season 1 of the first Project Runway ever.
Eve also was never a child! She just came to be one day! She had a clean slate. No emotional baggage! NONE! No PMS! No original sin! NONE! Eve had the most beautiful landscaping a person could want. Eve had the only eligible man. Eve even liked her body and had no issue with being naked! Imagine that! Eve had access to anything she wanted, needed, or desired (with the exception of that one tree). She only had one restriction in her PERFECT world.
In that one restriction, she fell prey to a crafty Snake who was out to destroy her perfect world. He was out to get his enemy God and the best way to do it, would be to bring destruction to God's perfect world He had just created. So the Snake, with all his Wolfy charm, beguiled Eve! He deceived her! He twisted God's words! He painted a picture of God as one who withholds! He told her she was missing out on something amazing!
Have you ever had someone paint a picture for you that leaves you feeling like you are missing out on something? We all have. Keeping up with the Jones is a modern day way of American life. Anyone reading this was convinced that they need a computer to live in the modern world. Something deep inside of us longs for fulfillment, and if we are listening to the wrong voices we can easily fall prey to someone who doesn't have our best interest at heart. Ironically, when wolves are hunting, they look for animals that are smaller than them or ill in some way, as the are easier to catch. Even in Little Red Ridinghood, the Wolf preyed on a little girl and an elderly, sickly grandmother; not the woodsman.
What is it that made Eve vulnerable? Where was Adam? Why didn't the snake approach Adam? How is it that in a perfect world there was room for a fatal fall? God wanted a relationship with us! In order to have a two-way relationship each person has to have a sense of self! You have to have the ability to choose! So, Eve was given the ability to choose. And, in that freedom, she was also vulnerable! God had made it really simple! One rule! Don't eat the fruit from that one tree.
There are some key lessons from Eve that we need to pay attention too. First, choice is a gift! It is a gift we can use for harm or for good! It is a gift we can use for selfish gain or for generosity! When Eve choose to eat of the fruit, she was doing something for herself! She wasn't thinking about others.
Second, who we decide to trust can have a major impact for good or for bad in our life. Eve chose to trust a new acquaintance and believe his version, rather then the version Adam and God had given her. Eve didn't even consider the relationship she had with God or look at all that He had provided. When something that seemed better came along, she jumped at it. Wisdom is cautious. Wisdom looks at the bigger picture. Wisdom considers relationship and intention.
Third, Eve decided to bust through some one's boundary and do what she wanted to do Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships. It helps to define who we are! Eve knew God had created her and the world, yet she decided His boundary was restricting her life. Boundaries are their to protect us not to harm us or control us.
Eve, was the first real housewife and her one bite opened the door for a reality series of selfishness that is ongoing! It is only by choose to turn back to God and trust Him and His boundaries that we can move toward His intentions for us!
Eve also was never a child! She just came to be one day! She had a clean slate. No emotional baggage! NONE! No PMS! No original sin! NONE! Eve had the most beautiful landscaping a person could want. Eve had the only eligible man. Eve even liked her body and had no issue with being naked! Imagine that! Eve had access to anything she wanted, needed, or desired (with the exception of that one tree). She only had one restriction in her PERFECT world.
In that one restriction, she fell prey to a crafty Snake who was out to destroy her perfect world. He was out to get his enemy God and the best way to do it, would be to bring destruction to God's perfect world He had just created. So the Snake, with all his Wolfy charm, beguiled Eve! He deceived her! He twisted God's words! He painted a picture of God as one who withholds! He told her she was missing out on something amazing!
Have you ever had someone paint a picture for you that leaves you feeling like you are missing out on something? We all have. Keeping up with the Jones is a modern day way of American life. Anyone reading this was convinced that they need a computer to live in the modern world. Something deep inside of us longs for fulfillment, and if we are listening to the wrong voices we can easily fall prey to someone who doesn't have our best interest at heart. Ironically, when wolves are hunting, they look for animals that are smaller than them or ill in some way, as the are easier to catch. Even in Little Red Ridinghood, the Wolf preyed on a little girl and an elderly, sickly grandmother; not the woodsman.
What is it that made Eve vulnerable? Where was Adam? Why didn't the snake approach Adam? How is it that in a perfect world there was room for a fatal fall? God wanted a relationship with us! In order to have a two-way relationship each person has to have a sense of self! You have to have the ability to choose! So, Eve was given the ability to choose. And, in that freedom, she was also vulnerable! God had made it really simple! One rule! Don't eat the fruit from that one tree.
There are some key lessons from Eve that we need to pay attention too. First, choice is a gift! It is a gift we can use for harm or for good! It is a gift we can use for selfish gain or for generosity! When Eve choose to eat of the fruit, she was doing something for herself! She wasn't thinking about others.
Second, who we decide to trust can have a major impact for good or for bad in our life. Eve chose to trust a new acquaintance and believe his version, rather then the version Adam and God had given her. Eve didn't even consider the relationship she had with God or look at all that He had provided. When something that seemed better came along, she jumped at it. Wisdom is cautious. Wisdom looks at the bigger picture. Wisdom considers relationship and intention.
Third, Eve decided to bust through some one's boundary and do what she wanted to do Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships. It helps to define who we are! Eve knew God had created her and the world, yet she decided His boundary was restricting her life. Boundaries are their to protect us not to harm us or control us.
Eve, was the first real housewife and her one bite opened the door for a reality series of selfishness that is ongoing! It is only by choose to turn back to God and trust Him and His boundaries that we can move toward His intentions for us!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Queen Esther: A Real Housewife of the Bible Gives Real Survival Skills For Living Amongst Wolves
Queen Esther lived amongst some dangerous wolves. Her husband, King Ahasuerus had his previous wife banished because she refuse to come to him when he summoned her. Haman, one of King Ahasuerus high officials also was on a mission to destroy all the Hebrew people in Persia. One wrong step and Queen Esther's life and those of her people would mean death! Now there is some seriously dangerous wolf territory.
As we talked about last week, Queen Esther had circumstances in her childhood and life that were easily the breeding ground of her own self-centeredness. However, her love, trust, identity, and surrender in the Almighty was her saving grace. Let's look at how Queen Esther survived her life surrounded by wolves.
First, Queen Esther looked at circumstances from God's eyes not hers. Imagine what she thought when she was taken from her family and put in the King's harem. She didn't throw a temper tantrum. She wasn't quoting rules in scriptures about being God's chosen. Rather, something in her demeanor was so gracious that she stood out amongst all the other women early on and was given special treatment during her year of preparation. Even then Esther didn't gloat, she was gracious and the other women in the harem respected her.
How often do we get an attitude when we are put in circumstances that we don't like? Do we call it unfair? Do we call it unjust? Do we use the Bible to defend our position? Or, do we trust in God's word that promises He will take ALL circumstances and use them for His good?
Second, Queen Esther was willing to submit and seek wise counsel. When it was her turn to go before the king, she took the advice of the king's eunuch, Hegai and dressed according to what he suggested. When her adopted father, Mordecai warned her about the plot to murder the Hebrew people, she listened to Mordecai, even though his request could bring her grave consequences, as it was strictly forbidden to approach the king without being summoned.
When an authority tells us to do something, how do we react? Do we react with humility or do we react with words of how dare you tell me what to do? Do we say yes and then just do it our way?
Third, she knew that her hope and her fate were in the hands of her sovereign God. She understood that God had brought her to the palace "for such a time as this." She had her people, her servants and herself fast for three days prior to approaching the king. She was clear about who her Lord was! She understood that her attitude, her demeanor, her actions, her words ALL reflected her God! So it wasn't with self-contriteness that she approached her earthy king, rather it was with trust and humility in God's plan! In God's way! In God's time!
How often when we are battling our spouse, do we step back and say "Lord, let me reflect your spirit rather than mine"? When we are being accused or blamed do we defend ourselves or do we think about how God wants us to respond? The home of a Wolf is filled with accusations and blame. It is imperative to not get caught up in the defense of yourself. Psalms 37:6 clearly says that God will defend His work in you and that it will be as clear as the blazing sun. One of the biggest mistakes I see of a spouse married of a Wolf is in their reactions back to the Wolf. Matthew 10:16 (MSG) says "Be as gentile as a dove and as cunning as a snake...when amidst wolves." Our reactions usually come from a place of our own self-centeredness! It is our actions that can come from a place of wisdom.
Queen Esther definitely was gentle as a dove and she was also as cunning as a snake. She had followed Mordecai's orders to not reveal that she was Hebrew. She fasted and prayed for God's direction and protection. She didn't go running to the king, rather she stood outside the inner court, in eyes view, and waited for the king to summon her. When he asked her what she wanted, she still waited and invited the king and Haman, the man who had put the death decree on the Hebrew people, for dinner. At dinner, she still didn't make the request of the king. She served the king and Haman and then asked them to return the next night for dinner. Haman boasted about his close relationship to the king and queen. Haman also told his friends how much he hated the Hebrew Mordecai and was planning to ask the king the next morning to hang Mordecai for not bowing before him. She invited them both to dinner a second time.
God had other plans, that very night the king couldn't sleep and requested reading material. It happen to be the section of where Mordecai had exposed a plot to assassinate the king. The king realized he had never honored Mordecia. Talk about God's perfect timing! The next morning he summoned Haman, who had just had the gallow built to hang Mordecai. The king asked Haman how he should honor a man who truly pleases the king. In all the wolfness Haman had, assuming it was he himself the king would want to honor, he told the king to have the man ride the king's own horse, wear the king's own robe, and all should shout honor to this man as he passes by. The king thought this was an excellent idea and told Haman to go get Mordecai, the Hebrew and honor him in this way. OUCH! Can you imagine? God always defends His people who are doing His work and His way.
So, if you were Mordecai and heard of plots of your destruction, would you try to intervene and circumvent the situation on your own. Do you seek God? Does your pride step in and do you say how dare that person assume that of me. Does vengence take over and do you begin to plot the destruction of someone who doesn't respect you in the way you think they should? Do you say "I'll show them". Friend, God's timing is perfect! He knows when and how the details need to fall together! He knows all men's heart! His sovereignty is a save place to rest.
That night at dinner, King Ahasuerus once again asked the Queen what she desired. She then told the king of the plot to kill her and those of her people. The King demanded to know WHO would dare touch her and she then revealed Haman's evil plot! In that moment Haman, the Wolf, was sent to the gallow he had constructed to hang Mordecai and he himself was hung!
How often do we rush ahead and plow thru our circumstances to get what we think we deserve. Are you rushing into divorce trying to get out of your circumstances? Have you stepped back and been a Queen Esther? Have you allowed God to transform? Are you working in His time or yours? The clock ticks very slowly in a marriage with a Wolf. But, God is there! He is working! Wise housewives wait on God and let Him direct their steps!
As we talked about last week, Queen Esther had circumstances in her childhood and life that were easily the breeding ground of her own self-centeredness. However, her love, trust, identity, and surrender in the Almighty was her saving grace. Let's look at how Queen Esther survived her life surrounded by wolves.
First, Queen Esther looked at circumstances from God's eyes not hers. Imagine what she thought when she was taken from her family and put in the King's harem. She didn't throw a temper tantrum. She wasn't quoting rules in scriptures about being God's chosen. Rather, something in her demeanor was so gracious that she stood out amongst all the other women early on and was given special treatment during her year of preparation. Even then Esther didn't gloat, she was gracious and the other women in the harem respected her.
How often do we get an attitude when we are put in circumstances that we don't like? Do we call it unfair? Do we call it unjust? Do we use the Bible to defend our position? Or, do we trust in God's word that promises He will take ALL circumstances and use them for His good?
Second, Queen Esther was willing to submit and seek wise counsel. When it was her turn to go before the king, she took the advice of the king's eunuch, Hegai and dressed according to what he suggested. When her adopted father, Mordecai warned her about the plot to murder the Hebrew people, she listened to Mordecai, even though his request could bring her grave consequences, as it was strictly forbidden to approach the king without being summoned.
When an authority tells us to do something, how do we react? Do we react with humility or do we react with words of how dare you tell me what to do? Do we say yes and then just do it our way?
Third, she knew that her hope and her fate were in the hands of her sovereign God. She understood that God had brought her to the palace "for such a time as this." She had her people, her servants and herself fast for three days prior to approaching the king. She was clear about who her Lord was! She understood that her attitude, her demeanor, her actions, her words ALL reflected her God! So it wasn't with self-contriteness that she approached her earthy king, rather it was with trust and humility in God's plan! In God's way! In God's time!
How often when we are battling our spouse, do we step back and say "Lord, let me reflect your spirit rather than mine"? When we are being accused or blamed do we defend ourselves or do we think about how God wants us to respond? The home of a Wolf is filled with accusations and blame. It is imperative to not get caught up in the defense of yourself. Psalms 37:6 clearly says that God will defend His work in you and that it will be as clear as the blazing sun. One of the biggest mistakes I see of a spouse married of a Wolf is in their reactions back to the Wolf. Matthew 10:16 (MSG) says "Be as gentile as a dove and as cunning as a snake...when amidst wolves." Our reactions usually come from a place of our own self-centeredness! It is our actions that can come from a place of wisdom.
Queen Esther definitely was gentle as a dove and she was also as cunning as a snake. She had followed Mordecai's orders to not reveal that she was Hebrew. She fasted and prayed for God's direction and protection. She didn't go running to the king, rather she stood outside the inner court, in eyes view, and waited for the king to summon her. When he asked her what she wanted, she still waited and invited the king and Haman, the man who had put the death decree on the Hebrew people, for dinner. At dinner, she still didn't make the request of the king. She served the king and Haman and then asked them to return the next night for dinner. Haman boasted about his close relationship to the king and queen. Haman also told his friends how much he hated the Hebrew Mordecai and was planning to ask the king the next morning to hang Mordecai for not bowing before him. She invited them both to dinner a second time.
God had other plans, that very night the king couldn't sleep and requested reading material. It happen to be the section of where Mordecai had exposed a plot to assassinate the king. The king realized he had never honored Mordecia. Talk about God's perfect timing! The next morning he summoned Haman, who had just had the gallow built to hang Mordecai. The king asked Haman how he should honor a man who truly pleases the king. In all the wolfness Haman had, assuming it was he himself the king would want to honor, he told the king to have the man ride the king's own horse, wear the king's own robe, and all should shout honor to this man as he passes by. The king thought this was an excellent idea and told Haman to go get Mordecai, the Hebrew and honor him in this way. OUCH! Can you imagine? God always defends His people who are doing His work and His way.
So, if you were Mordecai and heard of plots of your destruction, would you try to intervene and circumvent the situation on your own. Do you seek God? Does your pride step in and do you say how dare that person assume that of me. Does vengence take over and do you begin to plot the destruction of someone who doesn't respect you in the way you think they should? Do you say "I'll show them". Friend, God's timing is perfect! He knows when and how the details need to fall together! He knows all men's heart! His sovereignty is a save place to rest.
That night at dinner, King Ahasuerus once again asked the Queen what she desired. She then told the king of the plot to kill her and those of her people. The King demanded to know WHO would dare touch her and she then revealed Haman's evil plot! In that moment Haman, the Wolf, was sent to the gallow he had constructed to hang Mordecai and he himself was hung!
How often do we rush ahead and plow thru our circumstances to get what we think we deserve. Are you rushing into divorce trying to get out of your circumstances? Have you stepped back and been a Queen Esther? Have you allowed God to transform? Are you working in His time or yours? The clock ticks very slowly in a marriage with a Wolf. But, God is there! He is working! Wise housewives wait on God and let Him direct their steps!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Another Real House Wife of The Bible: Queen Esther, A Potential Wolf DeWolfed
Queen Esther fascinates me. The reality is she had every excuse in the world to be a self absorbed Wolf. When you look at the childhood of a Wolf, oftentimes there are similarities, such as abandonment and indulgence. Queen Esther's childhood had both. She was an orphan and being raised by a family member named Mordecai. Psychologically speaking she had to makings of major insecurity issues which can lead to wolfish behavior.
Next, she was placed in an environment that can bread indulgence and entitlement. She was beautiful. Research has shown that doors open easier for people who are "easy on the eyes". This was certainly the case for Esther. She was gathered into the king's harem (apparently this was a privilege and if she refused it meant death) because of her beauty. And, from all of the women in the harem, she was the most beautiful. She was chosen out of all those beautiful women to be the new Queen. Now there was a recipe with a potential outcome of pride!
Finally, upon entering the harem, she received mega spa treatment, not just a day or a couple of weeks, but a whole year! And, shopping! She was clothed in the Channel, Dior, and Prada of the day! Hair and make-up done for her by only the best of the best! Now there is an indulgent environment if I every heard of one. Have you ever heard of the green rooms that stars have filled with their favorite things. Rumors have it that Madonna has to have a new toilet seat cover; Brittany wants a plethora of fresh flowers, so she can arrange them herself; and Mariah Carey requests a bottle of Cristal Champagne, bendy straws with tea made from a specific brand of mineral water. It is easy for one to become a Diva and feel entitled when others so willingly cater to you.
So what was Queen Esther's response to all of this? Did she become a Wolf? No, she believed "for such a time as this" that she was brought to her moment by God and He had a purpose for her. She didn't make excuses for her past. Are there areas in your past where you make excuses for how you behave? She didn't become prideful when she rose to the level of Queen, rather she stayed humble. Are there areas in your life where God has raised you up? How do you handle your position of power, with humility or with pride? Queen Esther never became an entitled Diva! Are there areas in your life where you believe you are entitled to be treated a certain way? Marriage is filled with moments of where we can choose to act like we are entitled to be treated a certain way? We need to be careful not to let our pasts and our environments let the roots of entitlement and pride take hold in our lives!
Next week, we will explore how Queen Esther survived and thrived surrounded by Wolves!!! Her husband was a Wolf, he had killed the pervious Queen Vashti because she refused to come to him when he requested her. His servant Haman was a Wolf and hated the Hebrew people and created a plot to have them destroyed.
Next, she was placed in an environment that can bread indulgence and entitlement. She was beautiful. Research has shown that doors open easier for people who are "easy on the eyes". This was certainly the case for Esther. She was gathered into the king's harem (apparently this was a privilege and if she refused it meant death) because of her beauty. And, from all of the women in the harem, she was the most beautiful. She was chosen out of all those beautiful women to be the new Queen. Now there was a recipe with a potential outcome of pride!
Finally, upon entering the harem, she received mega spa treatment, not just a day or a couple of weeks, but a whole year! And, shopping! She was clothed in the Channel, Dior, and Prada of the day! Hair and make-up done for her by only the best of the best! Now there is an indulgent environment if I every heard of one. Have you ever heard of the green rooms that stars have filled with their favorite things. Rumors have it that Madonna has to have a new toilet seat cover; Brittany wants a plethora of fresh flowers, so she can arrange them herself; and Mariah Carey requests a bottle of Cristal Champagne, bendy straws with tea made from a specific brand of mineral water. It is easy for one to become a Diva and feel entitled when others so willingly cater to you.
So what was Queen Esther's response to all of this? Did she become a Wolf? No, she believed "for such a time as this" that she was brought to her moment by God and He had a purpose for her. She didn't make excuses for her past. Are there areas in your past where you make excuses for how you behave? She didn't become prideful when she rose to the level of Queen, rather she stayed humble. Are there areas in your life where God has raised you up? How do you handle your position of power, with humility or with pride? Queen Esther never became an entitled Diva! Are there areas in your life where you believe you are entitled to be treated a certain way? Marriage is filled with moments of where we can choose to act like we are entitled to be treated a certain way? We need to be careful not to let our pasts and our environments let the roots of entitlement and pride take hold in our lives!
Next week, we will explore how Queen Esther survived and thrived surrounded by Wolves!!! Her husband was a Wolf, he had killed the pervious Queen Vashti because she refused to come to him when he requested her. His servant Haman was a Wolf and hated the Hebrew people and created a plot to have them destroyed.
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