wAs we approach the holidays, I am sure many of our schedules are going to start feeling overwhelmed with all the "to do" lists. As some of you know, last fall I embarked on an adventure of getting my PhD and I am now in my second year (1/3 of the way done). I have had to reorganize my life and with that have come many changes in how I manage my time. Last week, I saw a new Doctor and he asked me how I am balancing my life going through a PhD program at this stage in my life. His question took me off guard, I stumbled for words and said something like "Well I still try to find time for lunch with a friend, I still spend time with my husband, and I use my drive time for connecting also.' This morning as I was reflecting in my quiet time, I started looking at all the SACRED MOMENTS that God has provided me with this last year. It adjusted my thinking and gave me some new thoughts to approaching this busy season of my life and I thought it was worth passing on to you during the approaching holiday season.
I started my PhD program off with creating a list of priorities for my life. The first part of this priority was believe that God had called me to this journey. So, my first question is...the journey you are on, is it one you feel called into. God calls us to different seasons of life to teach us and equip us for what He is planning. Stay-at-home mom's feel called to be the main source of input into their children's lives. Choir members at my church feel called to dedicate several hour a week to serving a team that leads it church in worship every week. I truly believe God provides time, where He has called.
Next, I asked my husband what was most important to him in how I dedicated time. We both knew that by my being in school, my time for other activities would be limited and we wanted to make sure it was being invested in what was important (knowing a lot of other important wouldn't be invested in). I still work 15 to 20 hours a week. I commute 8 hours a week. I am in class and school related meetings 10 hours a week. I easily have a minimum of 20 hours of homework each week. You add it up and there isn't much left. So, my next question is determine with those closest to you what is most valuable to them about how you spend time with them. We as a couple are important! We as grandparents are important! We have 8 and I make sure I am at their birthday parties and an occasional grandma and grandpa outing or sleepover.
Next, I considered my other relationships and how to prioritize them. I am a totally relational person and am blessed with SO MANY dear friends. I talked with them and let them know I would no longer be able to spend time as I had before. No more weekly lunches or monthly lunches, but I told them when I did have time I would see them. This was probably one of the biggest areas of sacrifice for me personally (and for my friends). As you journey into a season where life is more complicated make sure you are communicating with those closest to you and ask for their grace and understanding.
However, know that your priorities are going to called into question by others who may not know you as well or even those who do know you well. When your life shifts course, relationships and time change. There are going to be people in your life who don't know it shifted. There will be people in your life who think you are spending your time wrong. That is why it is so essential that you have prayed about where God wants you investing your time and talked with those closest to you about how to best maintain your relationship with time. When you hear of others complaints about how you are investing your time, you will either have to let them talk or decided to face it head on (or write a blog).
Once you have prioritized your life you will begin to see SACRED MOMENTS. Those priorities that you have created, become your moments of sacredness. When one of my grandchildren runs up to me with a big old bear hug and says "I love you", that is a sacred moment. When I have finish writing a paper or reading a project and I get to sit next to my hubby and chat, that is a sacred moment. When I have a moment to do something I really enjoy or being with someone I love, those are sacred moments. So during this holiday season, pray about what where God wants you investing time. Next talk with your spouse and those closes to you about what they consider as important investments in time. And then watch for all the SACRED MOMENTS God places before you!!!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Out of Emptiness He provides!
I am fascinated by story of Elijah's visit to Zarephath where he encounters a single parent mom and her son. Elijah was sent to by God and was told that a widow would provide for him. I wonder what Elijah's expectations were on what God had told him. I wonder if he imagined a wealthy widow who had an abundance of resources.
When Elijah entered the city he saw a women collecting sticks, and assumed it was the widow who was to help him. He was tired and thirsty from his journey, so he immediately requested she bring him water and bread. He assumed what God's provision was going to look like. Little did he realize that this widow was collecting sticks to prepare her last meal for her and her son. She had just enough oil and flour for her and her son to eat and then die.
I think as a single parent I would have been in shocked at the request. Here was a man (who had an abundance of privilege in his society) and I was a widow who was out gather sticks to make my last meal. The last thing I would want to do is feed someone else before my son and I, much less this stranger.
Elijah had enough encounters with the living God that He knew God's provision wasn't limited by the amount of flour and oil she had. Something in Elijah's next response communicated this to the widow. He was obviously tired and hungry and had been traveling along way, yet he was coming to her. He was telling her that God would not let her flour or oil run out. She was encountering someone who had a belief in someone, God, more than himself. This man was confident in God's provision, no matter how dire the circumstances looked. So she took the risk, amidst all the evidence to the contrary. And, God provided! The flour and oil lasted.
Where are you at your wits end? How is it causing you to be self-consumed? God has a plan! It is in our emptiness that we find Him. He is at the end of our rope. He just usually doesn't show up in ways we expect. Are you in an Elijah season, where you trust God completely amidst your circumstances but still place your expectations on what His provision looks like? Or, maybe you are in a widow season where you see no hope, no resolution, only death? God shows up for both!
When Elijah entered the city he saw a women collecting sticks, and assumed it was the widow who was to help him. He was tired and thirsty from his journey, so he immediately requested she bring him water and bread. He assumed what God's provision was going to look like. Little did he realize that this widow was collecting sticks to prepare her last meal for her and her son. She had just enough oil and flour for her and her son to eat and then die.
I think as a single parent I would have been in shocked at the request. Here was a man (who had an abundance of privilege in his society) and I was a widow who was out gather sticks to make my last meal. The last thing I would want to do is feed someone else before my son and I, much less this stranger.
Elijah had enough encounters with the living God that He knew God's provision wasn't limited by the amount of flour and oil she had. Something in Elijah's next response communicated this to the widow. He was obviously tired and hungry and had been traveling along way, yet he was coming to her. He was telling her that God would not let her flour or oil run out. She was encountering someone who had a belief in someone, God, more than himself. This man was confident in God's provision, no matter how dire the circumstances looked. So she took the risk, amidst all the evidence to the contrary. And, God provided! The flour and oil lasted.
Where are you at your wits end? How is it causing you to be self-consumed? God has a plan! It is in our emptiness that we find Him. He is at the end of our rope. He just usually doesn't show up in ways we expect. Are you in an Elijah season, where you trust God completely amidst your circumstances but still place your expectations on what His provision looks like? Or, maybe you are in a widow season where you see no hope, no resolution, only death? God shows up for both!
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
When A Wolf Is Your Thorn In The Flesh
I have been pondering Paul's thorn in his flesh recently. The metaphor sounds very painful, if you have ever had a sliver for any amount of time, you know how irritating and painful it can be. The metaphor raises alot of interesting considerations, especially relevant for self-absorbed marriages.
My first thought revolved around questions of "what is my thorn?" Certainly if you are married to a Wolf, your thorn in your flesh is probably your spouse. For other's it may be their fiances, for other's it may be a physical condition, and for other's it may be an addiction. Identifying your thorn in your flesh is an important first step. What is it that you are consumed with? What causes you the most pain?
It is in this pain that we can become consumed with self-absorption and focus on the pain. In the pain we question God. Why me? We plead for relief or rescue. We may even feel like our thorn is unjust. It serves as a constant reminder that our life is hard!
That is right where God's grace starts! In our pain, we turn to HIM! Once we are through with our pleading and begging for relief, His answer is "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Think about what keeps you humble. I know when I get past my whining stage of yet again when my thorn has been irritating me, I am reminded that I am completely and utterly dependent on God! Amidst all the "praise" I may receive from others, God reminds me that he is Sovereign! I am nothing without Him and what who He has created me to be.
When our thorn is a Wolf, sometimes it seems like the answer is to get rid of the Wolf. But, that is not always the answer. What if the Wolf is God's vehicle your transformation? What if God is using the Wolf to draw you closer to Him? Do you want to miss out? Let me take a moment of caution here: IF YOU ARE IN A PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT STAYING WITH THAT KIND OF WOLF! You need to seek out the wisdom of a shelter that works with domestic violence as soon as possible! When you are in a physically abusive relationship, your Wolf is your distorted thoughts of why you staying!!!
The other amazing gift of a thorn in your flesh is humility! When you are succeeding in life because of "your" efforts, you are getting praise and glory. When you are succeeding in life amidst your thorn, God gets the glory, because you know it would have been impossible without Him!
Look to God's grace today whenever your thorn irritates you and remember He is at work in you. His grace is sufficient!
My first thought revolved around questions of "what is my thorn?" Certainly if you are married to a Wolf, your thorn in your flesh is probably your spouse. For other's it may be their fiances, for other's it may be a physical condition, and for other's it may be an addiction. Identifying your thorn in your flesh is an important first step. What is it that you are consumed with? What causes you the most pain?
It is in this pain that we can become consumed with self-absorption and focus on the pain. In the pain we question God. Why me? We plead for relief or rescue. We may even feel like our thorn is unjust. It serves as a constant reminder that our life is hard!
That is right where God's grace starts! In our pain, we turn to HIM! Once we are through with our pleading and begging for relief, His answer is "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Think about what keeps you humble. I know when I get past my whining stage of yet again when my thorn has been irritating me, I am reminded that I am completely and utterly dependent on God! Amidst all the "praise" I may receive from others, God reminds me that he is Sovereign! I am nothing without Him and what who He has created me to be.
When our thorn is a Wolf, sometimes it seems like the answer is to get rid of the Wolf. But, that is not always the answer. What if the Wolf is God's vehicle your transformation? What if God is using the Wolf to draw you closer to Him? Do you want to miss out? Let me take a moment of caution here: IF YOU ARE IN A PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP, I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT STAYING WITH THAT KIND OF WOLF! You need to seek out the wisdom of a shelter that works with domestic violence as soon as possible! When you are in a physically abusive relationship, your Wolf is your distorted thoughts of why you staying!!!
The other amazing gift of a thorn in your flesh is humility! When you are succeeding in life because of "your" efforts, you are getting praise and glory. When you are succeeding in life amidst your thorn, God gets the glory, because you know it would have been impossible without Him!
Look to God's grace today whenever your thorn irritates you and remember He is at work in you. His grace is sufficient!
Monday, April 4, 2011
Don't Believe Everything You Hear About Your Friend's Divorce
One of the hardest things in life to deal with is divorce. Divorce effects not only the two people divorcing, but their children, extended families, friends, church and the communities they live in. Friends and churches can be instruments of healing or an instrument that inflicts even more harm. Friends and the church want to be a place of healing and help I am sure and the harm they inflict is often unintentional and unknowing.
When a Wolf is thrown into the mix of a divorce it is even more complex and difficult. If you are a friend of a couple or church body with a couple divorcing, remember first that there are two sides to every story! This should go with out saying, but objectivity in these situations is very hard to maintain for several reasons.
First, what appears to be the issues of divorce when their is a Wolf involved is never reality, as they are master story tellers. They are also very charming and if you have been charmed by a Wolf you will believe his or her story of victimization! They will let you know what they had to endure! They will let you know how they tried, and tried, and tried. But here is the truth, they have alot of secrets they aren't telling you. They have skipped their part of the breakdown of the marriage. Often times Wolves have histories of infidelity and abusive behavior that has gone on for years with only their spouse experiencing that side of them while others have been charmed.
When a spouse is leaving a Wolf, if he or she is doing it wisely, they are leaving quietly! Drawing attention to the Wolf destructive ways or trying to defend themself will often only brings more harm and give the Wolf more ammunition to make their spouse look even crazier. Wolves can also be very vengeful, so often times silence is a means of protection and the spouse may never tell their side.
Here is where friends and the church do unintentional harm. They believe the Wolf. They try to intervene and "confront" the spouse of the Wolf. Scriptures get quoted on the Wolf's behalf in the name of "Jesus". Dear friends and church, please be careful!!!
As a therapist I am so often disheartened by the stories I hear in therapy of how churches handle these situations. They forget that Jesus warned us that there are "wolves amongst us"! They forget that God is the knower of all hearts!
I remind my clients that God is always faithful and and will bring support to the spouse of the Wolf to encourage them and help them survive. God's word promises that He will defend His work like the noon sunshine! However, I also believe that God would rather see his body of believers as a place of healing, rather than a place of harm.
I believe our roles as followers of Christ is to show others Christs love! There are tangible ways to do that. Send a note or card of encouragement. Offer to babysit the kids or pick them up from school. If a spouse needs help moving, gather a team to help them. Remember God is the judge and he is all knowing. He actually knows the heart of each person involved and He also knows who has a hard heart! The best thing you can do is encourage your friend to grow in their relationship with Christ and to use this difficult season as a time of maturing in faith! God does some of His best work in the darkest places.
So the next time a couple is going through a divorce, proceed with caution. There may infact be a Wolf lurking! Seek God for wisdom! Be careful about taking sides and don't believe everything you hear!
When a Wolf is thrown into the mix of a divorce it is even more complex and difficult. If you are a friend of a couple or church body with a couple divorcing, remember first that there are two sides to every story! This should go with out saying, but objectivity in these situations is very hard to maintain for several reasons.
First, what appears to be the issues of divorce when their is a Wolf involved is never reality, as they are master story tellers. They are also very charming and if you have been charmed by a Wolf you will believe his or her story of victimization! They will let you know what they had to endure! They will let you know how they tried, and tried, and tried. But here is the truth, they have alot of secrets they aren't telling you. They have skipped their part of the breakdown of the marriage. Often times Wolves have histories of infidelity and abusive behavior that has gone on for years with only their spouse experiencing that side of them while others have been charmed.
When a spouse is leaving a Wolf, if he or she is doing it wisely, they are leaving quietly! Drawing attention to the Wolf destructive ways or trying to defend themself will often only brings more harm and give the Wolf more ammunition to make their spouse look even crazier. Wolves can also be very vengeful, so often times silence is a means of protection and the spouse may never tell their side.
Here is where friends and the church do unintentional harm. They believe the Wolf. They try to intervene and "confront" the spouse of the Wolf. Scriptures get quoted on the Wolf's behalf in the name of "Jesus". Dear friends and church, please be careful!!!
As a therapist I am so often disheartened by the stories I hear in therapy of how churches handle these situations. They forget that Jesus warned us that there are "wolves amongst us"! They forget that God is the knower of all hearts!
I remind my clients that God is always faithful and and will bring support to the spouse of the Wolf to encourage them and help them survive. God's word promises that He will defend His work like the noon sunshine! However, I also believe that God would rather see his body of believers as a place of healing, rather than a place of harm.
I believe our roles as followers of Christ is to show others Christs love! There are tangible ways to do that. Send a note or card of encouragement. Offer to babysit the kids or pick them up from school. If a spouse needs help moving, gather a team to help them. Remember God is the judge and he is all knowing. He actually knows the heart of each person involved and He also knows who has a hard heart! The best thing you can do is encourage your friend to grow in their relationship with Christ and to use this difficult season as a time of maturing in faith! God does some of His best work in the darkest places.
So the next time a couple is going through a divorce, proceed with caution. There may infact be a Wolf lurking! Seek God for wisdom! Be careful about taking sides and don't believe everything you hear!
Friday, March 25, 2011
Was that Selfishness or Selflessness?
When is the last time you did something for someone that not only cost you something, but no one knew you did it? Selflessness doesn't draw attention to you, selfishness does. For instance, I can be involved in a community service project, which on the surface might make it appear that I am selfless. However, if my hidden agenda is motivated by the public recognition I will get, I am probably being self-absorbed.
Jesus spoke straight forward to the Pharisees about this. He talked with them about how they did their "works" for all to see in Matthew 23:5. Or, in Matthew 6:5, Jesus talked about the pharisees praying in public for all to see and He said this was the only reward they would have. Matthew 6:6 tells us to do this in secret and that our Father will reward us, cause He sees all.
One modern day example is the television series called "The Secret Millionaire". It is a great show that contributes $100,000 to charities each week. A millionaire goes out into a community "in secret" for one week and lives on about $40 for the week. He or she then goes and learns about the various helping organizations in the community and then at the end of the week reveals him or herself as a millionaire and gives the worthwhile project up to $100,000. I love the concept of the show! However, the millionaire isn't secret to those of us who watch the show. We know who they are and we know what they do for a living. So, was their giving really in secret? And, how much does hours worth of advertisements cost during primetime television? Is it more or less than $100,000? Because the millionaire of the week is getting exposure for a whole hour of primetime, I am a little suspect. Now if the millionaire only gave me their first name, and I couldn't identify their company I might believe it was more of an act of selflessness. Certainly, in marketing terms there is no doubt that this is smart marketing, very smart marketing. And, it is highly possible that these millionaires do give money in secret and more power to them if they do!
Selflessness costs us something! It means we are giving our preference up in order to serve another. We don't get anything in return! Self-absorption weighs out the benefits to me and what I can get out of something. It asks how will this benefit me and if someone else benefits from it...great, that is an added benefit.
Think of all the things you do for others. For your spouse, for your children, for your extended family, for your church, for your friends, for you work, for your community, etc. Now think about those things and figure out how many of them are done in secret...meaning only you and God know! If you can't come up with anything, maybe it is time to start praying for God to lead you to some secret service.
When I think of selfless people, the first person that comes to my mind is Mother Teresa. She came from a family of affluence, yet she went to India and lived a life of simplicity serving and caring for the poorest of the poor. I would like to close with her poem called "Do It Anyway"
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
____________________________
Jesus spoke straight forward to the Pharisees about this. He talked with them about how they did their "works" for all to see in Matthew 23:5. Or, in Matthew 6:5, Jesus talked about the pharisees praying in public for all to see and He said this was the only reward they would have. Matthew 6:6 tells us to do this in secret and that our Father will reward us, cause He sees all.
One modern day example is the television series called "The Secret Millionaire". It is a great show that contributes $100,000 to charities each week. A millionaire goes out into a community "in secret" for one week and lives on about $40 for the week. He or she then goes and learns about the various helping organizations in the community and then at the end of the week reveals him or herself as a millionaire and gives the worthwhile project up to $100,000. I love the concept of the show! However, the millionaire isn't secret to those of us who watch the show. We know who they are and we know what they do for a living. So, was their giving really in secret? And, how much does hours worth of advertisements cost during primetime television? Is it more or less than $100,000? Because the millionaire of the week is getting exposure for a whole hour of primetime, I am a little suspect. Now if the millionaire only gave me their first name, and I couldn't identify their company I might believe it was more of an act of selflessness. Certainly, in marketing terms there is no doubt that this is smart marketing, very smart marketing. And, it is highly possible that these millionaires do give money in secret and more power to them if they do!
Selflessness costs us something! It means we are giving our preference up in order to serve another. We don't get anything in return! Self-absorption weighs out the benefits to me and what I can get out of something. It asks how will this benefit me and if someone else benefits from it...great, that is an added benefit.
Think of all the things you do for others. For your spouse, for your children, for your extended family, for your church, for your friends, for you work, for your community, etc. Now think about those things and figure out how many of them are done in secret...meaning only you and God know! If you can't come up with anything, maybe it is time to start praying for God to lead you to some secret service.
When I think of selfless people, the first person that comes to my mind is Mother Teresa. She came from a family of affluence, yet she went to India and lived a life of simplicity serving and caring for the poorest of the poor. I would like to close with her poem called "Do It Anyway"
People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
____________________________
Friday, February 4, 2011
Surving Valentine's Day With A Wolf
With Valentine's Day right around the corner there are reminders and expectations of what love "should be" all over the place. And, if you are in a marriage with a self-absorbed wolf it is hard to know how to prepare for this holiday. Wolves are very unpredictable on Valentine's Day.
They can decide it is the day they are going to be charming and engaging! They have sensed the strength you have been developing and may fear your leaving, so it is time to charm their way back in. Be careful! Ask yourself what is different about this time? Has there been a heart change? Remember King Herod acted as if you wanted to worship the new King who had just been born, but he actually intended to kill him.
Wolves can also decide that Valentine's Day is a day to stir up some trouble to avoid having to be intimate. They may instigate an arguement. Be prepared. Choose your words wisely. Don't fall into their trap!
Here is what is most imporant at the very core of Valentine's Day, is remembering that we had a Father who loved us SO much that He gave His only son to die for us, so we might have everlasting life.
God knows your pain! God knows the emptiness of your relationship! He wants you to keep turning to Him. He wants to provide all things for you, including helping you to see how very precious you are in His eyes!
Put your hope in God, rather than the Wolf you are married to this Valentine's Day and remember that God loves you more than anything!
They can decide it is the day they are going to be charming and engaging! They have sensed the strength you have been developing and may fear your leaving, so it is time to charm their way back in. Be careful! Ask yourself what is different about this time? Has there been a heart change? Remember King Herod acted as if you wanted to worship the new King who had just been born, but he actually intended to kill him.
Wolves can also decide that Valentine's Day is a day to stir up some trouble to avoid having to be intimate. They may instigate an arguement. Be prepared. Choose your words wisely. Don't fall into their trap!
Here is what is most imporant at the very core of Valentine's Day, is remembering that we had a Father who loved us SO much that He gave His only son to die for us, so we might have everlasting life.
God knows your pain! God knows the emptiness of your relationship! He wants you to keep turning to Him. He wants to provide all things for you, including helping you to see how very precious you are in His eyes!
Put your hope in God, rather than the Wolf you are married to this Valentine's Day and remember that God loves you more than anything!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Real Housewives of the Bible Reunion
Wow, I wonder what Andy would say about the Real Housewives of the Bible. Seriously, I can't imagine that any other housewife show could live up to the drama of the Bible housewives of season one. I wonder who he would give the Mazel Award to? My vote would be for either Mary or Queen Esther, however something just isn't fitting in the way he has given it in the past. So based on that, I would probably give the Mazel award to Eve for eating the apple. The Jakehole award would be easy...Jezebel.
Let's recap. First we had Queen Jezebel, who had no problem getting rid of anyone who crossed her path, and I mean literally get rid of via stoning and or any other means at her disposal. However, she didn't realize that God always has the LAST say! So needless to say, if we were having a reunion show Queen Jezebel wouldn't be here cause she died during Season I!
Next, we had Queen Esther. She was the opposite of Queen Jezebel. Esther had the heart of a servant and risked her life to save the lives of her people. And, once again God had the LAST say! I imagine she would enter the stage with grace we beyond our imagination. I also imagine her beauty would take our breath away momentarily. Her words would be well thought out and filled with wisdom. Andy may try and stump her, try to get her to say something selfish, but in the end he would realize her grace is authentic.
Next we encountered Eve, one bite, opened the door to all humankind's selfish nature, which opened the door for all the Housewives of Anywhere to have reality televisions shows showing off their selfish ways. I would wonder what she would wear on the reunion show...leaves? Would they be spring leaves of green or fall colors of orange and yellow and rust? I cannot even begin to imagine the questions Andy would ask about her eating the apple episode.
Naomi's sorrow of loosing her husband and two sons lead her to a new understanding of the selflessness and faithfulness of her daughter-in-law Ruth. I imagine Any would have questions about Naomi's grieving. He would also want to know about the night that Ruth slept at Boaz feet and what that was like.
Rachel and Leah were the two sisters who shared the same husband, at the same time (sounds like a spin off television show). They competed for Jacob's time and attention and in the process created a legacy of competition between their sons that lead to devastation. Rachel and Leah stayed at odds for their who life, so I am sure Andy would find most of his drama here. Thank goodness they were part of Season I, because someone has to walk off the set or it just wouldn't be a reunion show.
And last, but not least is Mary. She is the housewife who opened her heart and said yes to God bringing to us his redemption from selfishness in the birth of Jesus. All these housewives stories reveal to us that we need something bigger than ourselves. When we operate our lives by what is best for "me", it is rarely best for the other.
Let's recap. First we had Queen Jezebel, who had no problem getting rid of anyone who crossed her path, and I mean literally get rid of via stoning and or any other means at her disposal. However, she didn't realize that God always has the LAST say! So needless to say, if we were having a reunion show Queen Jezebel wouldn't be here cause she died during Season I!
Next, we had Queen Esther. She was the opposite of Queen Jezebel. Esther had the heart of a servant and risked her life to save the lives of her people. And, once again God had the LAST say! I imagine she would enter the stage with grace we beyond our imagination. I also imagine her beauty would take our breath away momentarily. Her words would be well thought out and filled with wisdom. Andy may try and stump her, try to get her to say something selfish, but in the end he would realize her grace is authentic.
Next we encountered Eve, one bite, opened the door to all humankind's selfish nature, which opened the door for all the Housewives of Anywhere to have reality televisions shows showing off their selfish ways. I would wonder what she would wear on the reunion show...leaves? Would they be spring leaves of green or fall colors of orange and yellow and rust? I cannot even begin to imagine the questions Andy would ask about her eating the apple episode.
Naomi's sorrow of loosing her husband and two sons lead her to a new understanding of the selflessness and faithfulness of her daughter-in-law Ruth. I imagine Any would have questions about Naomi's grieving. He would also want to know about the night that Ruth slept at Boaz feet and what that was like.
Rachel and Leah were the two sisters who shared the same husband, at the same time (sounds like a spin off television show). They competed for Jacob's time and attention and in the process created a legacy of competition between their sons that lead to devastation. Rachel and Leah stayed at odds for their who life, so I am sure Andy would find most of his drama here. Thank goodness they were part of Season I, because someone has to walk off the set or it just wouldn't be a reunion show.
And last, but not least is Mary. She is the housewife who opened her heart and said yes to God bringing to us his redemption from selfishness in the birth of Jesus. All these housewives stories reveal to us that we need something bigger than ourselves. When we operate our lives by what is best for "me", it is rarely best for the other.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Real Housewives of the Bible: Gossip, "Did you hear about Mary, we need to pray for her"
As we come to a close of Season I of The Real Housewives of the Bible it is time for us to meet our last housewife of the Bible...Mary. Mary's life as a housewife is filled with twists and turns. She was betrothed to Joseph, a carpenter in Nazareth. She got pregnant before the wedding. A shocking turn of events in her small town. And, the story Mary was telling about how she got pregnant was even more shocking. She was claiming that her child to be was the future Messiah. Perfect gossip for the other housewives in Nazareth. I imagine the women talked at the market, "Did you hear about Mary? Did you hear she is pregnant? Did you hear she is claiming that she is carrying to Messiah? Seriously, that girl is delusional? Who does she think she is to make such a claim." Can you imagine what Mary must have gone through as the rumors spread? I am sure people stared and made snide comments behind her back.
Gossip! Sadly, we probably all can think of a time, or many times in our life where we too have been guilty of gossip. What is it that causes us to so want to talk about others? Do we think it makes us look better? Do we somehow feel in the know when we have the juicy news on others and get to share it first? Do we use it to try to build alliances with others? Do we ever think about what it might do to the one we are spreading the rumors about? It is even worse when we spiritualize and say, "We need to pray for Mary, she is pregnant and thinks she is having God's son." There are a variety of self-motivating reasons behind gossip, but they are ALL is nothing short of total self-absorption. Gossip has nothing to do with serving or loving the person who we are spreading the rumors about. Gossip says something about us when we spread it and it says something about the condition of our heart.
A more selfless response to when we hear gossip is to come along side the person who is going through the trial. We can do this close up or from a distance. I wonder if anyone in Nazareth came along side of Mary and befriended her. Did they ask, "Are you okay? Are you scared? Do you feel alone? Do you need anything? How can I help?" Later, Elizabeth came along side Mary and supported her, encouraged her, and believed her! I wonder if she was worried when Joseph didn't believe her story. Can you imagine the relief she must have felt when he also heard from an angel?
Often when God reveals His plan to us, the initial news is exciting! But, the journey that follows the directive is usually not easy. I wonder if Mary was surprised at the turn of events. Did she wonder why in her last month of pregnancy she had to travel a great distance? Was she surprised that Jesus was born in a stable? Did she wonder why God hadn't reserved a room? Did she have fear the night she and Joseph fled to Egypt to avoid King Herod? Mary had to walk with alot of trust. Her life path was set out for her before she was ever married and she walked it with grace! She was there when the Messiah was born. She was their when the Messiah died. And she was there when the Messiah rose. Each step of the way she focused on what God had called her to do and considered it an honor! When we focus on what God is doing in us and through us, it leads us to focus on others in a new and selfless way! Mary was a housewife who knew how to be a selfless person by trusting her God!
Join us next time as we have a wrap up of Season I of the Real Housewives of the Bible.
Gossip! Sadly, we probably all can think of a time, or many times in our life where we too have been guilty of gossip. What is it that causes us to so want to talk about others? Do we think it makes us look better? Do we somehow feel in the know when we have the juicy news on others and get to share it first? Do we use it to try to build alliances with others? Do we ever think about what it might do to the one we are spreading the rumors about? It is even worse when we spiritualize and say, "We need to pray for Mary, she is pregnant and thinks she is having God's son." There are a variety of self-motivating reasons behind gossip, but they are ALL is nothing short of total self-absorption. Gossip has nothing to do with serving or loving the person who we are spreading the rumors about. Gossip says something about us when we spread it and it says something about the condition of our heart.
A more selfless response to when we hear gossip is to come along side the person who is going through the trial. We can do this close up or from a distance. I wonder if anyone in Nazareth came along side of Mary and befriended her. Did they ask, "Are you okay? Are you scared? Do you feel alone? Do you need anything? How can I help?" Later, Elizabeth came along side Mary and supported her, encouraged her, and believed her! I wonder if she was worried when Joseph didn't believe her story. Can you imagine the relief she must have felt when he also heard from an angel?
Often when God reveals His plan to us, the initial news is exciting! But, the journey that follows the directive is usually not easy. I wonder if Mary was surprised at the turn of events. Did she wonder why in her last month of pregnancy she had to travel a great distance? Was she surprised that Jesus was born in a stable? Did she wonder why God hadn't reserved a room? Did she have fear the night she and Joseph fled to Egypt to avoid King Herod? Mary had to walk with alot of trust. Her life path was set out for her before she was ever married and she walked it with grace! She was there when the Messiah was born. She was their when the Messiah died. And she was there when the Messiah rose. Each step of the way she focused on what God had called her to do and considered it an honor! When we focus on what God is doing in us and through us, it leads us to focus on others in a new and selfless way! Mary was a housewife who knew how to be a selfless person by trusting her God!
Join us next time as we have a wrap up of Season I of the Real Housewives of the Bible.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Real Housewives of the Bible: Lack of Contentment Can Lead to Self-Absorption
Two women...Rachel and Leah. One man...Jacob. Jacob loved Rachel more, but she was unable to bear and children. Leah produced one son after another. Each wife wanted what the other wife had. Leah wanted Jacob's love. Rachel wanted Jacob's son.
Remember, Rachel was Jacob's first love, his first choice. He worked seven years to marry her, and then an additional seven years after Rachel's father deceived him into marrying Leah. Rachel had beauty that most women could only hope for. Yet it wasn't enough. She wasn't content! She wanted more!
Leah on the other hand produced one son after another, which was a great triumph in Old Testament times. Her fertility obviously brought Jacob to her bed many nights. She taunted Rachel with her favor!
Neither housewife was content with their situation. They wanted things to be different. I wonder what would have happen if Rachel had just relaxed! If she had just enjoyed the relationship she had with Jacob and been grateful for her gift of great beauty. I wonder what would have happen if Leah had been humble and not taunted Leah. What kind of a relationship might Leah and Rachel had? What kind of influence might they have had on their sons?
Sadly, competition, deception, and pride became a family legacy. When Rachel finally did bear a son named Joseph, Leah's sons became very jealous of the attention and favor he received from his father and had him sold into slavery. They told Jacob that his son Joseph had died.
When we loose sight of being content, it brings out selfish behavior. We start focusing on me, me, me and loose sight of others. Well actually we don't loose sight of others, we focus on what others have that we don't have. But, God calls us an unconditional love in 1st Corinthians 13. Unselfish love cares more for others than self. Unselfish love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Unselfish love isnt's always me first. Unselfish love doesn't revel when others grovel...Rather it looks for the best and trusts God always.
Where in your life aren't you content? What kind of selfishness is rising to the surface. Step back and ask God to see what is best in your life and trust Him!
Stay tuned in...we have one last episode in this first season of Real Housewives of the Bible, Mary the mother of Jesus.
Remember, Rachel was Jacob's first love, his first choice. He worked seven years to marry her, and then an additional seven years after Rachel's father deceived him into marrying Leah. Rachel had beauty that most women could only hope for. Yet it wasn't enough. She wasn't content! She wanted more!
Leah on the other hand produced one son after another, which was a great triumph in Old Testament times. Her fertility obviously brought Jacob to her bed many nights. She taunted Rachel with her favor!
Neither housewife was content with their situation. They wanted things to be different. I wonder what would have happen if Rachel had just relaxed! If she had just enjoyed the relationship she had with Jacob and been grateful for her gift of great beauty. I wonder what would have happen if Leah had been humble and not taunted Leah. What kind of a relationship might Leah and Rachel had? What kind of influence might they have had on their sons?
Sadly, competition, deception, and pride became a family legacy. When Rachel finally did bear a son named Joseph, Leah's sons became very jealous of the attention and favor he received from his father and had him sold into slavery. They told Jacob that his son Joseph had died.
When we loose sight of being content, it brings out selfish behavior. We start focusing on me, me, me and loose sight of others. Well actually we don't loose sight of others, we focus on what others have that we don't have. But, God calls us an unconditional love in 1st Corinthians 13. Unselfish love cares more for others than self. Unselfish love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Unselfish love isnt's always me first. Unselfish love doesn't revel when others grovel...Rather it looks for the best and trusts God always.
Where in your life aren't you content? What kind of selfishness is rising to the surface. Step back and ask God to see what is best in your life and trust Him!
Stay tuned in...we have one last episode in this first season of Real Housewives of the Bible, Mary the mother of Jesus.
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