Wow! Time sure flies. My last post was 2 1/2 weeks ago. Interestingly, the speed at which we feel time passing is so influenced by our age and by the trials we are going through. Rachel certainly must have felt like time was moving at a snails pace in her life! First she waited and waited to be married to the man she loved (seven years and then Leah stepped in her place). Next, she waited and waited to bear children as she watch Leah have baby after baby. My heart goes out to Rachel. When we are waiting time goes SO slow! When we are waiting, it is SO hard to trust God! When we are waiting, it is SO easy to become consumed with what is not happening. In those thoughts we can become self-absorbed and focus on how to get what we want, no matter the cost.
Rachel sadly got caught up in the waiting and started figuring out how to do things her way, rather than God's way. I don't want to minimize the pain of what she had experienced. She had been in love with Jacob and waiting to marry the man of her dreams and at the last minute her dad pulled out his power card. Maybe he had started off with pure intentions, hoping that during Jacob's seven years of working for him he could find a spouse for Leah. But, seven years later, Leah still wasn't spoken for.
Can you imagine what it must have been like for Leah. The oldest sister is suppose to get married first, yet her younger sister was spoken for and she wasn't. I wonder how often Rachel's beauty "trumped" Leah's desires and needs. I wonder how she felt about being a part of deceiving Jacob at the wedding. Did she feel justified and happy that she was getting what Rachel wanted? Did she feel used and forced to do something she didn't want to do?
Both Rachel and Leah had different "triggers" that made us vulnerable to being selfish. What are the triggers that make you potentially selfish? Is waiting on God's timing hard for you? Do you get frustrated at the way He does it? Do you feel like He is ignoring you and you need to step in and do something to start making things happen. Or, is your trigger feeling like others are always getting what you want? Do you feel like someone else is getting what you want? Does this lead you to actions that involve deception to get what you want? When things go your way do you say "I told you so" and gloat over the other?
We all have vulnerabilities to selfishness and it is important to know what they are so we don't deceive ourselves. Join us next time as we see how Rachel and Leah interact in their competition for sons and Jacob.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Real House Wives of the Bible: Sisters Who Share More Than They Want, Part I
No story of "real" housewives would be complete without a set of sisters and a story filled with sibling rivalry at its best. There is competition! One is beautiful, the other is simple. One is loved by their shared husband,the other is not. One is VERY fertile, the other is not! This story has so many twists and turns it could have its own break off series called "Rachel and Leah Get Married". This story is filled with wolfish behavior, self-absorption abounds on all levels. Yet, in the midst of all of it God is sovereign and He works in spite of all the drama!
Here is the story. A very handsome man named Jacob flees from home. Why? Well he was his mother's favorite child and the second born. Jacob, at his mother's prompting, tricks his father into giving him his brother's blessing. It was a deception that stole what was rightfully belonged to someone else. Jacob flees in fear of his life. After traveling a long way, he comes across a well and the woman of his dreams, Rachel! Jacob is so enamored that he agrees to work for Rachel's father seven years in order to have her hand in marriage. However, Jacob doesn't realize that he has encountered a Wolf, who knows how to manipulate and lie to get what he wants. Jacob has met his match!
Seven years later, the day Jacob has longed for arrives and he marries Rachel. They have a magical night together. In the morning, whoops, he realizes he has married Rachel's older sister Leah. Talk about irony! Jacob had deceived his blind father by putting on animal skins, so when his father touched him he concluded he was was Esau, the oldest son. Rachel's father, clothes Leah in Rachel's wedding attire and then in the darkness of the night Jacob is unable to see who he has married.
Let's step back for a minute and reflect. It is always easier to see the wolfness in others. When Jacob's mom loved him more than his brother Esau, do you think she considered the consequences of this? Did she consider how this would effect Jacob's moral development? When Jacob willingly became a part of the plot to deceive his father, did he consider what it would do to his father or his brother Esau? Or, did Jacob just want what he wanted when he wanted it. When Jacob realized Rachel's father had tricked him, did he see that he was beat at his own selfish game, or did he think that Rachel's father was a manipulative Wolf who did whatever he needed to to get what he wanted?
What is it in your life that you so easily justify, but when someone else does it you clearly see the selfishness? What is it that you see in your spouse that drive you nuts? Why? What might it reveal about your own selfishness? 1st Corinthians 13 tells us that love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Would Jacob have stolen his brother's blessings? What is it that you want that you don't have? What extent are you going to to get it? 1st Corinthians 13 also tells us love doesn't force itself on others? Where are you forcing your way?
Next week, we will see how Rachel gets her way, regardless of the cost to others or herself. We will also see how Leah sends emotional darts Rachel's way!
Here is the story. A very handsome man named Jacob flees from home. Why? Well he was his mother's favorite child and the second born. Jacob, at his mother's prompting, tricks his father into giving him his brother's blessing. It was a deception that stole what was rightfully belonged to someone else. Jacob flees in fear of his life. After traveling a long way, he comes across a well and the woman of his dreams, Rachel! Jacob is so enamored that he agrees to work for Rachel's father seven years in order to have her hand in marriage. However, Jacob doesn't realize that he has encountered a Wolf, who knows how to manipulate and lie to get what he wants. Jacob has met his match!
Seven years later, the day Jacob has longed for arrives and he marries Rachel. They have a magical night together. In the morning, whoops, he realizes he has married Rachel's older sister Leah. Talk about irony! Jacob had deceived his blind father by putting on animal skins, so when his father touched him he concluded he was was Esau, the oldest son. Rachel's father, clothes Leah in Rachel's wedding attire and then in the darkness of the night Jacob is unable to see who he has married.
Let's step back for a minute and reflect. It is always easier to see the wolfness in others. When Jacob's mom loved him more than his brother Esau, do you think she considered the consequences of this? Did she consider how this would effect Jacob's moral development? When Jacob willingly became a part of the plot to deceive his father, did he consider what it would do to his father or his brother Esau? Or, did Jacob just want what he wanted when he wanted it. When Jacob realized Rachel's father had tricked him, did he see that he was beat at his own selfish game, or did he think that Rachel's father was a manipulative Wolf who did whatever he needed to to get what he wanted?
What is it in your life that you so easily justify, but when someone else does it you clearly see the selfishness? What is it that you see in your spouse that drive you nuts? Why? What might it reveal about your own selfishness? 1st Corinthians 13 tells us that love doesn't want what it doesn't have. Would Jacob have stolen his brother's blessings? What is it that you want that you don't have? What extent are you going to to get it? 1st Corinthians 13 also tells us love doesn't force itself on others? Where are you forcing your way?
Next week, we will see how Rachel gets her way, regardless of the cost to others or herself. We will also see how Leah sends emotional darts Rachel's way!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Ruth, A Housewife Who Lived Beyond the Rumors
No story on housewives would be complete without the concept of rumors and gossip! Rumors have the power to break anything and anyone! In an instant a reputation can be brought down. In Ruth's case, gossip and rumors became her saving grace. Word had gotten out in Bethlehem about Naomi and her companion Ruth. People were talking! They were talking about the tragedy the women had suffered, but they were also talking about Ruth's extraordinary loyalty. Not only had she stayed with her mother-in-law, but she had denied her god for Israel's God.
Can you imagine? Once they got through talking about the death's of Naomi's husband and sons, they would then go on to talk about Ruth. Who was she? Why did she stay with Naomi? Didn't she know that it was not a smart thing to do? Didn't she realize that she had given up her future, not to mention the danger she was putting her self in. Now she was gleaning from the left-overs of the harvest in order for her and Naomi to have work. A young women, with no male protection.
There was one man, Boaz, who was deeply touched by the rumor. He knew what a remarkable thing it had been for Ruth to remain loyal to the family she had married into and to forsake her people's god. Her story touched him deeply and it moved him to action. He decided that a loyalty like this should be acknowledge and he offered Ruth the ability to gleen in his fields and provide her protection.
Our reputations are more than who we are, they are also how we reflect Christ in our lives! Are people talking about the light in your life? Or, are they talking about he darkness in your life?
Ruth's reputation for sacrifice and loyalty continue. It is a way of being. It is who she is. When Naomi hears of Boaz offer, she send Ruth to sleep at the foot of his bed. Ruth's response is automatic compliance. She doesn't stop to think, "What will this do to my reputation." She doesn't question Naomi's intentions. Rather she trusts Naomi. And, she is trusting Naomi's God.
How often do we look at our circumstances and look at those who have "control" in our life and questions them? How often do we grumble at our circumstances? How often do we pay attention to the gossip and rumors being spread about us and try to defend ourselves?
Ruth stayed true to who she was! She continued to do the right thing, regardless of how difficult the circumstances were. Regardless of how difficult the request was! And, with this God opened the flood gates of blessing!
Remember, a Wolf's self-absorption may infact be a circumstance that God is divinely orchestrating to bring about His purpose in your life!
Can you imagine? Once they got through talking about the death's of Naomi's husband and sons, they would then go on to talk about Ruth. Who was she? Why did she stay with Naomi? Didn't she know that it was not a smart thing to do? Didn't she realize that she had given up her future, not to mention the danger she was putting her self in. Now she was gleaning from the left-overs of the harvest in order for her and Naomi to have work. A young women, with no male protection.
There was one man, Boaz, who was deeply touched by the rumor. He knew what a remarkable thing it had been for Ruth to remain loyal to the family she had married into and to forsake her people's god. Her story touched him deeply and it moved him to action. He decided that a loyalty like this should be acknowledge and he offered Ruth the ability to gleen in his fields and provide her protection.
Our reputations are more than who we are, they are also how we reflect Christ in our lives! Are people talking about the light in your life? Or, are they talking about he darkness in your life?
Ruth's reputation for sacrifice and loyalty continue. It is a way of being. It is who she is. When Naomi hears of Boaz offer, she send Ruth to sleep at the foot of his bed. Ruth's response is automatic compliance. She doesn't stop to think, "What will this do to my reputation." She doesn't question Naomi's intentions. Rather she trusts Naomi. And, she is trusting Naomi's God.
How often do we look at our circumstances and look at those who have "control" in our life and questions them? How often do we grumble at our circumstances? How often do we pay attention to the gossip and rumors being spread about us and try to defend ourselves?
Ruth stayed true to who she was! She continued to do the right thing, regardless of how difficult the circumstances were. Regardless of how difficult the request was! And, with this God opened the flood gates of blessing!
Remember, a Wolf's self-absorption may infact be a circumstance that God is divinely orchestrating to bring about His purpose in your life!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
A Needy Mother-in-law Finds a Selfless Daughter-in-law in Real Housewives of the Bible: Part I
In the modern day world, I have no doubt that Naomi would get diagnosed with PTSD or Complicated Grieving! She had lost her husband, both her sons, and she was living in a different country. In her day, a woman couldn't just get out there and take care of herself! Her culture made her dependent on men for provision. However, amidst all this loss and tragedy, she understood that God was the one who took care of her, no matter what!
When someone has suffered tragedy, there is a season of grieving and in that season considering others is difficult. Somehow Naomi managed to do this though. She had two daughter-in-laws, Ruth and Orpah, who had also just lost their husbands. Rather than keep them as her companions, she told them to go back to their families. This was a selfless move on Naomi's part! In so many ways it was in her best interest to have them stay with her. They were younger and had the potential for remarrying, guaranteeing her provision. They were a way for her to stay connected to her sense of family as they had been her sons wives. But, she knew they needed to move forward and not be tied to the past.
Interestingly, Orpah went home. I wonder why? She accepted the gift laid before her to have a fresh start and to stay in her homeland. Ruth, however, stayed. She took Naomi's selfless act and returned it with her own selfless act. What is surprising to me is Naomi's response. Somehow in Ruth's gift to stay with her, Naomi goes into deep despair. Rather than being able to see the blessing, she becomes blind by her loss. When Ruth reaches her homeland and is greeted by her friends, she tells them to call her Mara, meaning bitter. Ruth blames God for all her affliction. He has made her life bitter. He has taken everything away. Certainly, this is a normal reaction in grieving; to blame someone, to feel hopeless. Is it the comfort of Ruth companionship that allows Naomi to finally let go and grieve?
There are times in our lives when we will be consumed with issues. Both Ruth and Naomi had cause. However, Ruth was able to recognize that Naomi's loss was great. Yes, she had lost a husband, but Naomi had lost a husband and two sons. Ruth was able to step outside of her loss. Naomi wasn't.
I wonder what gave Ruth the ability to recognize this. What in her upbringing gave her such strength? She had been a Moab, which means she didn't even worship Israel's God. What allowed her to be selfless? What had gone on in her relationship with Naomi prior to the loss of their husbands/sons that Ruth became SO loyal? Ruth's character was revealed in this moment!
In your moments of suffering, what is revealed in your character? In no way is this question meant to infer that one shouldn't grieve. Greiving is healthy and important. But, in our grieving, are we able to still be selfless? Are we able to consider others? Ruth was. Naomi initially was, before she spiraled. Maybe God knew that Naomi would need someone to be the strong one for her. Is God calling you to be the strong one in your relationship?
Join me next week as we look at God's sovereignty as Ruth goes to the fields and finds the man of her dreams!
When someone has suffered tragedy, there is a season of grieving and in that season considering others is difficult. Somehow Naomi managed to do this though. She had two daughter-in-laws, Ruth and Orpah, who had also just lost their husbands. Rather than keep them as her companions, she told them to go back to their families. This was a selfless move on Naomi's part! In so many ways it was in her best interest to have them stay with her. They were younger and had the potential for remarrying, guaranteeing her provision. They were a way for her to stay connected to her sense of family as they had been her sons wives. But, she knew they needed to move forward and not be tied to the past.
Interestingly, Orpah went home. I wonder why? She accepted the gift laid before her to have a fresh start and to stay in her homeland. Ruth, however, stayed. She took Naomi's selfless act and returned it with her own selfless act. What is surprising to me is Naomi's response. Somehow in Ruth's gift to stay with her, Naomi goes into deep despair. Rather than being able to see the blessing, she becomes blind by her loss. When Ruth reaches her homeland and is greeted by her friends, she tells them to call her Mara, meaning bitter. Ruth blames God for all her affliction. He has made her life bitter. He has taken everything away. Certainly, this is a normal reaction in grieving; to blame someone, to feel hopeless. Is it the comfort of Ruth companionship that allows Naomi to finally let go and grieve?
There are times in our lives when we will be consumed with issues. Both Ruth and Naomi had cause. However, Ruth was able to recognize that Naomi's loss was great. Yes, she had lost a husband, but Naomi had lost a husband and two sons. Ruth was able to step outside of her loss. Naomi wasn't.
I wonder what gave Ruth the ability to recognize this. What in her upbringing gave her such strength? She had been a Moab, which means she didn't even worship Israel's God. What allowed her to be selfless? What had gone on in her relationship with Naomi prior to the loss of their husbands/sons that Ruth became SO loyal? Ruth's character was revealed in this moment!
In your moments of suffering, what is revealed in your character? In no way is this question meant to infer that one shouldn't grieve. Greiving is healthy and important. But, in our grieving, are we able to still be selfless? Are we able to consider others? Ruth was. Naomi initially was, before she spiraled. Maybe God knew that Naomi would need someone to be the strong one for her. Is God calling you to be the strong one in your relationship?
Join me next week as we look at God's sovereignty as Ruth goes to the fields and finds the man of her dreams!
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Eve, The First Real Housewife
Eve is the women of many firsts! She was the first to have a man fall madly in love with her, the first wife ever, the first mother ever, and the first to design "green" eco-friendly clothing. She won Season 1 of the first Project Runway ever.
Eve also was never a child! She just came to be one day! She had a clean slate. No emotional baggage! NONE! No PMS! No original sin! NONE! Eve had the most beautiful landscaping a person could want. Eve had the only eligible man. Eve even liked her body and had no issue with being naked! Imagine that! Eve had access to anything she wanted, needed, or desired (with the exception of that one tree). She only had one restriction in her PERFECT world.
In that one restriction, she fell prey to a crafty Snake who was out to destroy her perfect world. He was out to get his enemy God and the best way to do it, would be to bring destruction to God's perfect world He had just created. So the Snake, with all his Wolfy charm, beguiled Eve! He deceived her! He twisted God's words! He painted a picture of God as one who withholds! He told her she was missing out on something amazing!
Have you ever had someone paint a picture for you that leaves you feeling like you are missing out on something? We all have. Keeping up with the Jones is a modern day way of American life. Anyone reading this was convinced that they need a computer to live in the modern world. Something deep inside of us longs for fulfillment, and if we are listening to the wrong voices we can easily fall prey to someone who doesn't have our best interest at heart. Ironically, when wolves are hunting, they look for animals that are smaller than them or ill in some way, as the are easier to catch. Even in Little Red Ridinghood, the Wolf preyed on a little girl and an elderly, sickly grandmother; not the woodsman.
What is it that made Eve vulnerable? Where was Adam? Why didn't the snake approach Adam? How is it that in a perfect world there was room for a fatal fall? God wanted a relationship with us! In order to have a two-way relationship each person has to have a sense of self! You have to have the ability to choose! So, Eve was given the ability to choose. And, in that freedom, she was also vulnerable! God had made it really simple! One rule! Don't eat the fruit from that one tree.
There are some key lessons from Eve that we need to pay attention too. First, choice is a gift! It is a gift we can use for harm or for good! It is a gift we can use for selfish gain or for generosity! When Eve choose to eat of the fruit, she was doing something for herself! She wasn't thinking about others.
Second, who we decide to trust can have a major impact for good or for bad in our life. Eve chose to trust a new acquaintance and believe his version, rather then the version Adam and God had given her. Eve didn't even consider the relationship she had with God or look at all that He had provided. When something that seemed better came along, she jumped at it. Wisdom is cautious. Wisdom looks at the bigger picture. Wisdom considers relationship and intention.
Third, Eve decided to bust through some one's boundary and do what she wanted to do Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships. It helps to define who we are! Eve knew God had created her and the world, yet she decided His boundary was restricting her life. Boundaries are their to protect us not to harm us or control us.
Eve, was the first real housewife and her one bite opened the door for a reality series of selfishness that is ongoing! It is only by choose to turn back to God and trust Him and His boundaries that we can move toward His intentions for us!
Eve also was never a child! She just came to be one day! She had a clean slate. No emotional baggage! NONE! No PMS! No original sin! NONE! Eve had the most beautiful landscaping a person could want. Eve had the only eligible man. Eve even liked her body and had no issue with being naked! Imagine that! Eve had access to anything she wanted, needed, or desired (with the exception of that one tree). She only had one restriction in her PERFECT world.
In that one restriction, she fell prey to a crafty Snake who was out to destroy her perfect world. He was out to get his enemy God and the best way to do it, would be to bring destruction to God's perfect world He had just created. So the Snake, with all his Wolfy charm, beguiled Eve! He deceived her! He twisted God's words! He painted a picture of God as one who withholds! He told her she was missing out on something amazing!
Have you ever had someone paint a picture for you that leaves you feeling like you are missing out on something? We all have. Keeping up with the Jones is a modern day way of American life. Anyone reading this was convinced that they need a computer to live in the modern world. Something deep inside of us longs for fulfillment, and if we are listening to the wrong voices we can easily fall prey to someone who doesn't have our best interest at heart. Ironically, when wolves are hunting, they look for animals that are smaller than them or ill in some way, as the are easier to catch. Even in Little Red Ridinghood, the Wolf preyed on a little girl and an elderly, sickly grandmother; not the woodsman.
What is it that made Eve vulnerable? Where was Adam? Why didn't the snake approach Adam? How is it that in a perfect world there was room for a fatal fall? God wanted a relationship with us! In order to have a two-way relationship each person has to have a sense of self! You have to have the ability to choose! So, Eve was given the ability to choose. And, in that freedom, she was also vulnerable! God had made it really simple! One rule! Don't eat the fruit from that one tree.
There are some key lessons from Eve that we need to pay attention too. First, choice is a gift! It is a gift we can use for harm or for good! It is a gift we can use for selfish gain or for generosity! When Eve choose to eat of the fruit, she was doing something for herself! She wasn't thinking about others.
Second, who we decide to trust can have a major impact for good or for bad in our life. Eve chose to trust a new acquaintance and believe his version, rather then the version Adam and God had given her. Eve didn't even consider the relationship she had with God or look at all that He had provided. When something that seemed better came along, she jumped at it. Wisdom is cautious. Wisdom looks at the bigger picture. Wisdom considers relationship and intention.
Third, Eve decided to bust through some one's boundary and do what she wanted to do Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships. It helps to define who we are! Eve knew God had created her and the world, yet she decided His boundary was restricting her life. Boundaries are their to protect us not to harm us or control us.
Eve, was the first real housewife and her one bite opened the door for a reality series of selfishness that is ongoing! It is only by choose to turn back to God and trust Him and His boundaries that we can move toward His intentions for us!
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Queen Esther: A Real Housewife of the Bible Gives Real Survival Skills For Living Amongst Wolves
Queen Esther lived amongst some dangerous wolves. Her husband, King Ahasuerus had his previous wife banished because she refuse to come to him when he summoned her. Haman, one of King Ahasuerus high officials also was on a mission to destroy all the Hebrew people in Persia. One wrong step and Queen Esther's life and those of her people would mean death! Now there is some seriously dangerous wolf territory.
As we talked about last week, Queen Esther had circumstances in her childhood and life that were easily the breeding ground of her own self-centeredness. However, her love, trust, identity, and surrender in the Almighty was her saving grace. Let's look at how Queen Esther survived her life surrounded by wolves.
First, Queen Esther looked at circumstances from God's eyes not hers. Imagine what she thought when she was taken from her family and put in the King's harem. She didn't throw a temper tantrum. She wasn't quoting rules in scriptures about being God's chosen. Rather, something in her demeanor was so gracious that she stood out amongst all the other women early on and was given special treatment during her year of preparation. Even then Esther didn't gloat, she was gracious and the other women in the harem respected her.
How often do we get an attitude when we are put in circumstances that we don't like? Do we call it unfair? Do we call it unjust? Do we use the Bible to defend our position? Or, do we trust in God's word that promises He will take ALL circumstances and use them for His good?
Second, Queen Esther was willing to submit and seek wise counsel. When it was her turn to go before the king, she took the advice of the king's eunuch, Hegai and dressed according to what he suggested. When her adopted father, Mordecai warned her about the plot to murder the Hebrew people, she listened to Mordecai, even though his request could bring her grave consequences, as it was strictly forbidden to approach the king without being summoned.
When an authority tells us to do something, how do we react? Do we react with humility or do we react with words of how dare you tell me what to do? Do we say yes and then just do it our way?
Third, she knew that her hope and her fate were in the hands of her sovereign God. She understood that God had brought her to the palace "for such a time as this." She had her people, her servants and herself fast for three days prior to approaching the king. She was clear about who her Lord was! She understood that her attitude, her demeanor, her actions, her words ALL reflected her God! So it wasn't with self-contriteness that she approached her earthy king, rather it was with trust and humility in God's plan! In God's way! In God's time!
How often when we are battling our spouse, do we step back and say "Lord, let me reflect your spirit rather than mine"? When we are being accused or blamed do we defend ourselves or do we think about how God wants us to respond? The home of a Wolf is filled with accusations and blame. It is imperative to not get caught up in the defense of yourself. Psalms 37:6 clearly says that God will defend His work in you and that it will be as clear as the blazing sun. One of the biggest mistakes I see of a spouse married of a Wolf is in their reactions back to the Wolf. Matthew 10:16 (MSG) says "Be as gentile as a dove and as cunning as a snake...when amidst wolves." Our reactions usually come from a place of our own self-centeredness! It is our actions that can come from a place of wisdom.
Queen Esther definitely was gentle as a dove and she was also as cunning as a snake. She had followed Mordecai's orders to not reveal that she was Hebrew. She fasted and prayed for God's direction and protection. She didn't go running to the king, rather she stood outside the inner court, in eyes view, and waited for the king to summon her. When he asked her what she wanted, she still waited and invited the king and Haman, the man who had put the death decree on the Hebrew people, for dinner. At dinner, she still didn't make the request of the king. She served the king and Haman and then asked them to return the next night for dinner. Haman boasted about his close relationship to the king and queen. Haman also told his friends how much he hated the Hebrew Mordecai and was planning to ask the king the next morning to hang Mordecai for not bowing before him. She invited them both to dinner a second time.
God had other plans, that very night the king couldn't sleep and requested reading material. It happen to be the section of where Mordecai had exposed a plot to assassinate the king. The king realized he had never honored Mordecia. Talk about God's perfect timing! The next morning he summoned Haman, who had just had the gallow built to hang Mordecai. The king asked Haman how he should honor a man who truly pleases the king. In all the wolfness Haman had, assuming it was he himself the king would want to honor, he told the king to have the man ride the king's own horse, wear the king's own robe, and all should shout honor to this man as he passes by. The king thought this was an excellent idea and told Haman to go get Mordecai, the Hebrew and honor him in this way. OUCH! Can you imagine? God always defends His people who are doing His work and His way.
So, if you were Mordecai and heard of plots of your destruction, would you try to intervene and circumvent the situation on your own. Do you seek God? Does your pride step in and do you say how dare that person assume that of me. Does vengence take over and do you begin to plot the destruction of someone who doesn't respect you in the way you think they should? Do you say "I'll show them". Friend, God's timing is perfect! He knows when and how the details need to fall together! He knows all men's heart! His sovereignty is a save place to rest.
That night at dinner, King Ahasuerus once again asked the Queen what she desired. She then told the king of the plot to kill her and those of her people. The King demanded to know WHO would dare touch her and she then revealed Haman's evil plot! In that moment Haman, the Wolf, was sent to the gallow he had constructed to hang Mordecai and he himself was hung!
How often do we rush ahead and plow thru our circumstances to get what we think we deserve. Are you rushing into divorce trying to get out of your circumstances? Have you stepped back and been a Queen Esther? Have you allowed God to transform? Are you working in His time or yours? The clock ticks very slowly in a marriage with a Wolf. But, God is there! He is working! Wise housewives wait on God and let Him direct their steps!
As we talked about last week, Queen Esther had circumstances in her childhood and life that were easily the breeding ground of her own self-centeredness. However, her love, trust, identity, and surrender in the Almighty was her saving grace. Let's look at how Queen Esther survived her life surrounded by wolves.
First, Queen Esther looked at circumstances from God's eyes not hers. Imagine what she thought when she was taken from her family and put in the King's harem. She didn't throw a temper tantrum. She wasn't quoting rules in scriptures about being God's chosen. Rather, something in her demeanor was so gracious that she stood out amongst all the other women early on and was given special treatment during her year of preparation. Even then Esther didn't gloat, she was gracious and the other women in the harem respected her.
How often do we get an attitude when we are put in circumstances that we don't like? Do we call it unfair? Do we call it unjust? Do we use the Bible to defend our position? Or, do we trust in God's word that promises He will take ALL circumstances and use them for His good?
Second, Queen Esther was willing to submit and seek wise counsel. When it was her turn to go before the king, she took the advice of the king's eunuch, Hegai and dressed according to what he suggested. When her adopted father, Mordecai warned her about the plot to murder the Hebrew people, she listened to Mordecai, even though his request could bring her grave consequences, as it was strictly forbidden to approach the king without being summoned.
When an authority tells us to do something, how do we react? Do we react with humility or do we react with words of how dare you tell me what to do? Do we say yes and then just do it our way?
Third, she knew that her hope and her fate were in the hands of her sovereign God. She understood that God had brought her to the palace "for such a time as this." She had her people, her servants and herself fast for three days prior to approaching the king. She was clear about who her Lord was! She understood that her attitude, her demeanor, her actions, her words ALL reflected her God! So it wasn't with self-contriteness that she approached her earthy king, rather it was with trust and humility in God's plan! In God's way! In God's time!
How often when we are battling our spouse, do we step back and say "Lord, let me reflect your spirit rather than mine"? When we are being accused or blamed do we defend ourselves or do we think about how God wants us to respond? The home of a Wolf is filled with accusations and blame. It is imperative to not get caught up in the defense of yourself. Psalms 37:6 clearly says that God will defend His work in you and that it will be as clear as the blazing sun. One of the biggest mistakes I see of a spouse married of a Wolf is in their reactions back to the Wolf. Matthew 10:16 (MSG) says "Be as gentile as a dove and as cunning as a snake...when amidst wolves." Our reactions usually come from a place of our own self-centeredness! It is our actions that can come from a place of wisdom.
Queen Esther definitely was gentle as a dove and she was also as cunning as a snake. She had followed Mordecai's orders to not reveal that she was Hebrew. She fasted and prayed for God's direction and protection. She didn't go running to the king, rather she stood outside the inner court, in eyes view, and waited for the king to summon her. When he asked her what she wanted, she still waited and invited the king and Haman, the man who had put the death decree on the Hebrew people, for dinner. At dinner, she still didn't make the request of the king. She served the king and Haman and then asked them to return the next night for dinner. Haman boasted about his close relationship to the king and queen. Haman also told his friends how much he hated the Hebrew Mordecai and was planning to ask the king the next morning to hang Mordecai for not bowing before him. She invited them both to dinner a second time.
God had other plans, that very night the king couldn't sleep and requested reading material. It happen to be the section of where Mordecai had exposed a plot to assassinate the king. The king realized he had never honored Mordecia. Talk about God's perfect timing! The next morning he summoned Haman, who had just had the gallow built to hang Mordecai. The king asked Haman how he should honor a man who truly pleases the king. In all the wolfness Haman had, assuming it was he himself the king would want to honor, he told the king to have the man ride the king's own horse, wear the king's own robe, and all should shout honor to this man as he passes by. The king thought this was an excellent idea and told Haman to go get Mordecai, the Hebrew and honor him in this way. OUCH! Can you imagine? God always defends His people who are doing His work and His way.
So, if you were Mordecai and heard of plots of your destruction, would you try to intervene and circumvent the situation on your own. Do you seek God? Does your pride step in and do you say how dare that person assume that of me. Does vengence take over and do you begin to plot the destruction of someone who doesn't respect you in the way you think they should? Do you say "I'll show them". Friend, God's timing is perfect! He knows when and how the details need to fall together! He knows all men's heart! His sovereignty is a save place to rest.
That night at dinner, King Ahasuerus once again asked the Queen what she desired. She then told the king of the plot to kill her and those of her people. The King demanded to know WHO would dare touch her and she then revealed Haman's evil plot! In that moment Haman, the Wolf, was sent to the gallow he had constructed to hang Mordecai and he himself was hung!
How often do we rush ahead and plow thru our circumstances to get what we think we deserve. Are you rushing into divorce trying to get out of your circumstances? Have you stepped back and been a Queen Esther? Have you allowed God to transform? Are you working in His time or yours? The clock ticks very slowly in a marriage with a Wolf. But, God is there! He is working! Wise housewives wait on God and let Him direct their steps!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Another Real House Wife of The Bible: Queen Esther, A Potential Wolf DeWolfed
Queen Esther fascinates me. The reality is she had every excuse in the world to be a self absorbed Wolf. When you look at the childhood of a Wolf, oftentimes there are similarities, such as abandonment and indulgence. Queen Esther's childhood had both. She was an orphan and being raised by a family member named Mordecai. Psychologically speaking she had to makings of major insecurity issues which can lead to wolfish behavior.
Next, she was placed in an environment that can bread indulgence and entitlement. She was beautiful. Research has shown that doors open easier for people who are "easy on the eyes". This was certainly the case for Esther. She was gathered into the king's harem (apparently this was a privilege and if she refused it meant death) because of her beauty. And, from all of the women in the harem, she was the most beautiful. She was chosen out of all those beautiful women to be the new Queen. Now there was a recipe with a potential outcome of pride!
Finally, upon entering the harem, she received mega spa treatment, not just a day or a couple of weeks, but a whole year! And, shopping! She was clothed in the Channel, Dior, and Prada of the day! Hair and make-up done for her by only the best of the best! Now there is an indulgent environment if I every heard of one. Have you ever heard of the green rooms that stars have filled with their favorite things. Rumors have it that Madonna has to have a new toilet seat cover; Brittany wants a plethora of fresh flowers, so she can arrange them herself; and Mariah Carey requests a bottle of Cristal Champagne, bendy straws with tea made from a specific brand of mineral water. It is easy for one to become a Diva and feel entitled when others so willingly cater to you.
So what was Queen Esther's response to all of this? Did she become a Wolf? No, she believed "for such a time as this" that she was brought to her moment by God and He had a purpose for her. She didn't make excuses for her past. Are there areas in your past where you make excuses for how you behave? She didn't become prideful when she rose to the level of Queen, rather she stayed humble. Are there areas in your life where God has raised you up? How do you handle your position of power, with humility or with pride? Queen Esther never became an entitled Diva! Are there areas in your life where you believe you are entitled to be treated a certain way? Marriage is filled with moments of where we can choose to act like we are entitled to be treated a certain way? We need to be careful not to let our pasts and our environments let the roots of entitlement and pride take hold in our lives!
Next week, we will explore how Queen Esther survived and thrived surrounded by Wolves!!! Her husband was a Wolf, he had killed the pervious Queen Vashti because she refused to come to him when he requested her. His servant Haman was a Wolf and hated the Hebrew people and created a plot to have them destroyed.
Next, she was placed in an environment that can bread indulgence and entitlement. She was beautiful. Research has shown that doors open easier for people who are "easy on the eyes". This was certainly the case for Esther. She was gathered into the king's harem (apparently this was a privilege and if she refused it meant death) because of her beauty. And, from all of the women in the harem, she was the most beautiful. She was chosen out of all those beautiful women to be the new Queen. Now there was a recipe with a potential outcome of pride!
Finally, upon entering the harem, she received mega spa treatment, not just a day or a couple of weeks, but a whole year! And, shopping! She was clothed in the Channel, Dior, and Prada of the day! Hair and make-up done for her by only the best of the best! Now there is an indulgent environment if I every heard of one. Have you ever heard of the green rooms that stars have filled with their favorite things. Rumors have it that Madonna has to have a new toilet seat cover; Brittany wants a plethora of fresh flowers, so she can arrange them herself; and Mariah Carey requests a bottle of Cristal Champagne, bendy straws with tea made from a specific brand of mineral water. It is easy for one to become a Diva and feel entitled when others so willingly cater to you.
So what was Queen Esther's response to all of this? Did she become a Wolf? No, she believed "for such a time as this" that she was brought to her moment by God and He had a purpose for her. She didn't make excuses for her past. Are there areas in your past where you make excuses for how you behave? She didn't become prideful when she rose to the level of Queen, rather she stayed humble. Are there areas in your life where God has raised you up? How do you handle your position of power, with humility or with pride? Queen Esther never became an entitled Diva! Are there areas in your life where you believe you are entitled to be treated a certain way? Marriage is filled with moments of where we can choose to act like we are entitled to be treated a certain way? We need to be careful not to let our pasts and our environments let the roots of entitlement and pride take hold in our lives!
Next week, we will explore how Queen Esther survived and thrived surrounded by Wolves!!! Her husband was a Wolf, he had killed the pervious Queen Vashti because she refused to come to him when he requested her. His servant Haman was a Wolf and hated the Hebrew people and created a plot to have them destroyed.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Jezebel: Meet One of the Real Housewives of The Bible
Jezebel...The world today still uses her name to describe a woman who is selfish and will do whatever it takes to get her own way! In fact, I have witnessed a few Reunion shows of the Housewives where Jezebel's spirit is still alive and well.
The story behind the name of Jezebel is fascinating. Jezebel was a Queen of Israel, God's chosen people. She was married to King Ahab. King Ahab's notoriety is that he was more wicked and worse than any other king of Israel (1 Kings 16:30). King Ahab had converted to the god of Queen Jezebel's people, Baal. Her devotion to Baal was relentless and unwavering, including hunting down and killing as many prophets of Israel's God as she could in an attempt to convert Israel to her god. It was her way or no way.
What is it in your own life that you are relentless and unwavering about? Is it your weight? Is it your saving or spending money? Is it how you fight with your husband? Is it how you raise your children? Is it your reputation? Or, is it surrender to the one true God and becoming who He created you to be? Imagine if Jezebel had used her tenacity for serving God, rather than herself and Baal? Her story and legacy would be so very different. God uniquely makes each of us. Jezebel was made with strength, drive, passion, conviction, and leadership. But, it was all directed toward her own purpose.
Queen Jezebel also believe her and King Ahab should have whatever they desired no matter what the cost was to others. 1 King 21 tells of a day when King Ahab was told no and he was so angry that he refused to eat. Queen Jezebel asked him why. King Ahab explained that he had tried to by a vineyard from a man named Naboth and the man had told him no. Queen Jezebel's response was to have the man stoned to death. Self-absorption leads to us believing that we are entitled to have what we want. It leads to using methods that harm and destroy others.
What is in your life that you feel entitled too? What is it in your own life that you feel you deserve to have because of your position? This is a hard one, because there are so many things in our American way of doing life that we have grown accustom to that we don't even realize our entitlement. For instance, when someone buds the line, are you gracious and forgiving, or do you demand your own way? When your spouse doesn't like what you made for dinner, do you tell him to make his/her own or do you humble yourself? 1st Corinthians 13 tells us that love doesn't demand its own way. Do we? Queen Jezebel always demanded her own way!
Here was Queen Jezebel's fatal flaw, she didn't understand that God always, always has the last say! It may have looked like she got what she wanted, when she wanted it. People were terrified of her. She would kill you in an instance if you didn't succumb to her wishes. But, God revealed that her death would be gruesome. Her flesh would be eaten by dogs and that her body would be scattered like manure. And, it was (2 Kings 9:30-36)!
Her only life was the one she lived on earth where she satisfied her every whim. But, her death was one of dishonor. Rather than a legacy of unselfish conviction and generosity, it was all dedicated to herself.
What do you want your legacy to be? How do you want to be know? How do you want to be thought of? When people use your name, do you want it to be in vain or do you want it to be known as a name that honors and serves God? It is up to you!
The story behind the name of Jezebel is fascinating. Jezebel was a Queen of Israel, God's chosen people. She was married to King Ahab. King Ahab's notoriety is that he was more wicked and worse than any other king of Israel (1 Kings 16:30). King Ahab had converted to the god of Queen Jezebel's people, Baal. Her devotion to Baal was relentless and unwavering, including hunting down and killing as many prophets of Israel's God as she could in an attempt to convert Israel to her god. It was her way or no way.
What is it in your own life that you are relentless and unwavering about? Is it your weight? Is it your saving or spending money? Is it how you fight with your husband? Is it how you raise your children? Is it your reputation? Or, is it surrender to the one true God and becoming who He created you to be? Imagine if Jezebel had used her tenacity for serving God, rather than herself and Baal? Her story and legacy would be so very different. God uniquely makes each of us. Jezebel was made with strength, drive, passion, conviction, and leadership. But, it was all directed toward her own purpose.
Queen Jezebel also believe her and King Ahab should have whatever they desired no matter what the cost was to others. 1 King 21 tells of a day when King Ahab was told no and he was so angry that he refused to eat. Queen Jezebel asked him why. King Ahab explained that he had tried to by a vineyard from a man named Naboth and the man had told him no. Queen Jezebel's response was to have the man stoned to death. Self-absorption leads to us believing that we are entitled to have what we want. It leads to using methods that harm and destroy others.
What is in your life that you feel entitled too? What is it in your own life that you feel you deserve to have because of your position? This is a hard one, because there are so many things in our American way of doing life that we have grown accustom to that we don't even realize our entitlement. For instance, when someone buds the line, are you gracious and forgiving, or do you demand your own way? When your spouse doesn't like what you made for dinner, do you tell him to make his/her own or do you humble yourself? 1st Corinthians 13 tells us that love doesn't demand its own way. Do we? Queen Jezebel always demanded her own way!
Here was Queen Jezebel's fatal flaw, she didn't understand that God always, always has the last say! It may have looked like she got what she wanted, when she wanted it. People were terrified of her. She would kill you in an instance if you didn't succumb to her wishes. But, God revealed that her death would be gruesome. Her flesh would be eaten by dogs and that her body would be scattered like manure. And, it was (2 Kings 9:30-36)!
Her only life was the one she lived on earth where she satisfied her every whim. But, her death was one of dishonor. Rather than a legacy of unselfish conviction and generosity, it was all dedicated to herself.
What do you want your legacy to be? How do you want to be know? How do you want to be thought of? When people use your name, do you want it to be in vain or do you want it to be known as a name that honors and serves God? It is up to you!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
The Real Housewives of the Bible
I must confess, I am a bit of a reality tv junkie! I find the whole housewives fame intriguing. The reality is they are famous because of their outlandish self absorption! Dr. Drew Pinsky and Dr. S. Mark Young recently published "The Mirror Effect". In it they said, "The phenomenon of reality TV has certainly democratized fame, but by normalizing narcissistic behaviors on public stage, it has also fueled narcissism among everyday people. Reality television has a great capacity for taking challenging, even tragic dysfunctions and making them see glamorous and even beneficial" (page 70).
A recent episode of one of the Housewives was no exception. One of the housewives has been "ruthless" in her pursuit of trying to bring vengeance on other housewives she perceives as her enemy. She has two daughters she shares all her drama with. Her daughters often just look at her with expressions that say "Here we go again". They try to communicate with their mother to not get involved, to stay away. But, the mother sees it as defending herself against wrong! My heart goes out to these two girls! Their mother appears to lack the ability to think beyond herself, even though she will profess to no end that she is thinking of them. Protecting them. Teaching them to stand up for themselves. The reality is, when a person is a Wolf...they will rationalize away all their behavior as necessary and as a response to someone else's behavior.
This got me to thinking...what lessons would be learned if one reviewed "Housewives of the Bible". Hey the Bible has some serious Narcissistic stories! So, I decided to pick a cast of women for my new series, "The Real Housewives of the Bible". I want to spend the next several blogs exploring what lessons we can learn from these famous housewives.
Meet your cast of Season I...The Real Housewives of the Bible:
The most famous housewife of self absorbed behavior would have to go to Jezebel. She was a Queen of Isreal and was infamous for being self-centered and bringing vengeance on anyone who threatened to call her behavior on the carpet.
I also think I would ask Abigail to be on my "Housewives of the Bible". She was married to Nabal, a controlling Wolf, who was so stubborn that he put the lives of his family and servants at risk by refusing to pay David for his protection services rendered.
Now Eve, she would be an interesting housewife. The first women ever to have to design clothing out of a green products! Now there is a challenge of "Project Runway". But, I digress. Eve has a lot of responsibility for introducing the whole idea of self-absorption into the world and was great at redirecting blame.
No series on "The Real Housewives of the Bible" would be complete without Queen Esther. She had to die to her self and think of a whole nation as the wolfish Haman plotted to kill her people. She also had to be wise in approaching her husband without his request, as it could bring her instant death.
Just for some female relational drama, I think I need to add a mother/daughter-in-law combo. My choice is Naomi, the whiny, whoops, I mean grieving mother-in-law and Ruth, co-dependent, whoops again, I mean loyal daughter-in-law. Naomi had a great life and then it all crumbled when her husband and sons died.
Sisters, we need sisters, can I find a married pair? Ah, yes! Rachel and Leah, married to the same man. A constant rival over children. Murder. Deception. Jealousy. It doesn't stop there, Rachel makes her maid servant sleep with Jacob to bear her a child. And, then changes her mind and fires the maid servant.
Finally, no story on "The Real Housewives of the Bible" would be complete without Jesus's mother, Mary! She also complete surrendered her self, amidst the scandal of being pregnant and not married. She professed that it was an immaculant conception and she was bearing God's son. Really, can drama and misperception get anymore intriguing than that?
Seriously, could Hollywood have even come up with this cast of characters? So are you intrigued? I am! Pass the word along and join me as we enter the world of "The Real Housewives of the Bible", Series I.
"The Real Housewives of the Bible" Credits: To give credit where credit is due...the producer, director, and screen writer; God!
A recent episode of one of the Housewives was no exception. One of the housewives has been "ruthless" in her pursuit of trying to bring vengeance on other housewives she perceives as her enemy. She has two daughters she shares all her drama with. Her daughters often just look at her with expressions that say "Here we go again". They try to communicate with their mother to not get involved, to stay away. But, the mother sees it as defending herself against wrong! My heart goes out to these two girls! Their mother appears to lack the ability to think beyond herself, even though she will profess to no end that she is thinking of them. Protecting them. Teaching them to stand up for themselves. The reality is, when a person is a Wolf...they will rationalize away all their behavior as necessary and as a response to someone else's behavior.
This got me to thinking...what lessons would be learned if one reviewed "Housewives of the Bible". Hey the Bible has some serious Narcissistic stories! So, I decided to pick a cast of women for my new series, "The Real Housewives of the Bible". I want to spend the next several blogs exploring what lessons we can learn from these famous housewives.
Meet your cast of Season I...The Real Housewives of the Bible:
The most famous housewife of self absorbed behavior would have to go to Jezebel. She was a Queen of Isreal and was infamous for being self-centered and bringing vengeance on anyone who threatened to call her behavior on the carpet.
I also think I would ask Abigail to be on my "Housewives of the Bible". She was married to Nabal, a controlling Wolf, who was so stubborn that he put the lives of his family and servants at risk by refusing to pay David for his protection services rendered.
Now Eve, she would be an interesting housewife. The first women ever to have to design clothing out of a green products! Now there is a challenge of "Project Runway". But, I digress. Eve has a lot of responsibility for introducing the whole idea of self-absorption into the world and was great at redirecting blame.
No series on "The Real Housewives of the Bible" would be complete without Queen Esther. She had to die to her self and think of a whole nation as the wolfish Haman plotted to kill her people. She also had to be wise in approaching her husband without his request, as it could bring her instant death.
Just for some female relational drama, I think I need to add a mother/daughter-in-law combo. My choice is Naomi, the whiny, whoops, I mean grieving mother-in-law and Ruth, co-dependent, whoops again, I mean loyal daughter-in-law. Naomi had a great life and then it all crumbled when her husband and sons died.
Sisters, we need sisters, can I find a married pair? Ah, yes! Rachel and Leah, married to the same man. A constant rival over children. Murder. Deception. Jealousy. It doesn't stop there, Rachel makes her maid servant sleep with Jacob to bear her a child. And, then changes her mind and fires the maid servant.
Finally, no story on "The Real Housewives of the Bible" would be complete without Jesus's mother, Mary! She also complete surrendered her self, amidst the scandal of being pregnant and not married. She professed that it was an immaculant conception and she was bearing God's son. Really, can drama and misperception get anymore intriguing than that?
Seriously, could Hollywood have even come up with this cast of characters? So are you intrigued? I am! Pass the word along and join me as we enter the world of "The Real Housewives of the Bible", Series I.
"The Real Housewives of the Bible" Credits: To give credit where credit is due...the producer, director, and screen writer; God!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
The Spouse of a Wolf is a Lost Sheep...
Do you remember the parable of the lost sheep in Luke 15? Jesus tells a story of a shepherd who has 100 sheep and one of them strays and gets lost in the wilderness. He talks about how the shepherd will go and search for the lost one and rejoice when he finds the lost sheep. I have always thought of this scripture as the "sinner" who wandered off. Who do you think the "sinner" is? Is it a dear friend who wandered away from church? Is it your child, who is off being a prodigal? Is it your lost neighbor? Or, is it you? My challenge is this...if you are in a relationship with a Wolf, is it possible that you are a lost sheep? Think about it? I think our own tendencies toward Wolfness blindsus to the fact that we can be lost sheep. If you are one of the 99 sheep, is it possible to have a Wolf in the midst while the shepherd is there? Or, maybe you have SO wandered away from who Christ desires you to be, that you are indeed a lost sheep and you are married to a Wolf?
I believe that when we are defining our self by others...what they want, what they demand, who they say we are...we may actually be a lost sheep. If God has created me to have a heart of generosity and I am married to a Wolf, who has stingy money issues...how I am living out who God has created me to be? If God has gifted me to provide comic relief, and my Wolf spouse is always putting down my sense of humor...how am I living out who God created me to be. Letting others define you, rather than Christ makes you a lost sheep! You are listening to the voices of others, rather than the voice of the Shepherd.
Do not be afraid to get to know the YOU that God created YOU to be! You are uniquely designed and in that design He has purposes for you! Listen for His voice calling you, He wants to rejoice in bringing you back to the flock!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Alex, I'll take " Wolf Relationships" for $200
A relationship with a Wolf is like playing Jeopardy. You have your catagories...My Needs/Wants/Desires, Spouses Needs/Wants/Desires, Marriage, Wolf Relationships, Biblical Directives, and What Other's See. So, let's play!
Contestant: "Alex, I will take Biblical Directives for $200"
Alex: It is commonly know as the love chapter and is used at most weddings to define love."
Contestant: "What is 1st Corinthians 13:4-7?"
Score! $200 points
Contestant: "Alex, I will take Wolf Relationsip for $200"
Alex: "Wise words given by Jesus for interacting with wolves...to be as cunning as snake and inoffensive as a dove"
Contestant: "What is Matthew 10:16?"
Score! $200 points
The problem is, in Jeopardy your opponents are usually also very skilled.
Contestant: "Alex, I will take My Needs/Wants/Directives for $200
Alex: When you are at your wits end and can't figure out what the next right step is in your relationship?"
We all know that there are those questions that stump us! And, in the final Jeopardy question we have difficult choices to make. If we are ahead in the game, we have to figure out the best strategy for staying in the game. If we are behind in the game, we have to lay it all on the line and hope it is enough to stay in the game. A marriage with a Wolf has those defining moments when we are at our wit's end and have no clue what the question is going to be or if we have enough resources to stay in the game and wait for the question and then figure out the answer.
Here my friend is actually a good place to be! It may feel terrifying. It may be triggering every insecurity, hurt, and fear you have. It is at this place where we have no where to turn, except to God! We have reached the end of ourselves (finally) and have only the option of relying on him. Karl Barth said, "When we are at our wit's end for an answer, then the Holy Spirit can give us an answer. But how can He give us an answer when we are still well supplied with all sorts of answers of our own."
So today, in your confusion, emptiness, loss, loneliness...take comfort! Comfort in knowing that you are actually in a good place and the answer is there! God has it waiting for you!
Contestant: "Alex, I will take Biblical Directives for $200"
Alex: It is commonly know as the love chapter and is used at most weddings to define love."
Contestant: "What is 1st Corinthians 13:4-7?"
Score! $200 points
Contestant: "Alex, I will take Wolf Relationsip for $200"
Alex: "Wise words given by Jesus for interacting with wolves...to be as cunning as snake and inoffensive as a dove"
Contestant: "What is Matthew 10:16?"
Score! $200 points
The problem is, in Jeopardy your opponents are usually also very skilled.
Contestant: "Alex, I will take My Needs/Wants/Directives for $200
Alex: When you are at your wits end and can't figure out what the next right step is in your relationship?"
We all know that there are those questions that stump us! And, in the final Jeopardy question we have difficult choices to make. If we are ahead in the game, we have to figure out the best strategy for staying in the game. If we are behind in the game, we have to lay it all on the line and hope it is enough to stay in the game. A marriage with a Wolf has those defining moments when we are at our wit's end and have no clue what the question is going to be or if we have enough resources to stay in the game and wait for the question and then figure out the answer.
Here my friend is actually a good place to be! It may feel terrifying. It may be triggering every insecurity, hurt, and fear you have. It is at this place where we have no where to turn, except to God! We have reached the end of ourselves (finally) and have only the option of relying on him. Karl Barth said, "When we are at our wit's end for an answer, then the Holy Spirit can give us an answer. But how can He give us an answer when we are still well supplied with all sorts of answers of our own."
So today, in your confusion, emptiness, loss, loneliness...take comfort! Comfort in knowing that you are actually in a good place and the answer is there! God has it waiting for you!
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Expectations: A Potentially Lethal Relational Virus
Do you realize that your "white picket fence" marriage list has the potential to kill a relationship? Scary! When we are determining who will be a good marital match, a list of our ideal qualities is a smart thing. Knowing what you want in a relationship and what qualitities you want in your partner help to make a wise decision. However, when that list becomes a measure of expectations for how the relationship "should" function, it can turn into a virus that can cause harm to the best of relationships.
For example, let's say that your top three things on your list in a relationship are 1) Christian, 2) sense of humor, 3) generous spirit. Now let's say you have met the "right" person and checked off your top three and got married. Now let's assume that several years into the relationship, your spouse is having a crisis of faith. For instance, they worked in church ministry and got fired and are now resentful about attending church. Let's also assume that they are going through depression and their sense of humor is currently "lacking" or it has gotten dark and sarcastic. And finally, let's assume that they are isolating in their depression and are so consumed by the loss that they rarily think of others. All of these would be a change in the relationship dynamic and what once was a foundation to the way the relationship functioned is now being challenged.
Life has its twist and turns. Learning how to adapt your relationship is critical to the survival of a relationship. If your "white picket fence" list has turned into a list of expectations, it is going to be more difficult for you to navigate through the various seasons in your relationship. The great thing about healthy relationships is that they grow, they change, they adapt. The great thing about trials in a relationship is that it has the capacity to strengthen and unite the couple as a team. But, expectations have the potential to cause the relationship to become stuck, to grow stale, to be stagnent. Expectations have the potential to tear down a relationship and not allow it to succeed!
So, as you face trials in your relationships...face your expectations head on and realize they are an opportunity for growth and change!
For example, let's say that your top three things on your list in a relationship are 1) Christian, 2) sense of humor, 3) generous spirit. Now let's say you have met the "right" person and checked off your top three and got married. Now let's assume that several years into the relationship, your spouse is having a crisis of faith. For instance, they worked in church ministry and got fired and are now resentful about attending church. Let's also assume that they are going through depression and their sense of humor is currently "lacking" or it has gotten dark and sarcastic. And finally, let's assume that they are isolating in their depression and are so consumed by the loss that they rarily think of others. All of these would be a change in the relationship dynamic and what once was a foundation to the way the relationship functioned is now being challenged.
Life has its twist and turns. Learning how to adapt your relationship is critical to the survival of a relationship. If your "white picket fence" list has turned into a list of expectations, it is going to be more difficult for you to navigate through the various seasons in your relationship. The great thing about healthy relationships is that they grow, they change, they adapt. The great thing about trials in a relationship is that it has the capacity to strengthen and unite the couple as a team. But, expectations have the potential to cause the relationship to become stuck, to grow stale, to be stagnent. Expectations have the potential to tear down a relationship and not allow it to succeed!
So, as you face trials in your relationships...face your expectations head on and realize they are an opportunity for growth and change!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Being married to a Wolf is filled with many hours of contemplating is divorce an option. So many questions arise for the follower of Christ in addressing how this will effect them. Please check out this link, from Mars Hill Bible Church in Michigan, by Rob Bell. It will be well worth your time.
http://marshill.org/teaching/2010/07/11/matthew-5-jesus-and-divorce/
Sunday, July 25, 2010
What Santa Claus, Fairy Godmothers, and Genies Reveal About Our Wolfness
Think of your last prayer. What did you say? What did you request? Was your request like a list sent to Santa Claus, or a wish made to your Genie or Fairy Godmother? Or were you having a two way relationship asking him how you could best serve him and reflect him to others?
Recently I have been reading Francis Chan's book "Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit". It has challenged me to check my prayers. Chan's challenge is for us to not view the Holy Spirit as "a commodity to be bought or traded according to our individual wants, whims or even our felt needs". Indeed, how often are my prayers directed by my individual wants, whims or felt needs. God does want us to bring all of these things to him, but he also desires to have a two-way relationship with us. When we have a two-way relationship we are also seeking out what the other person wants and what their felt needs are. So the question for each of us, while we move beyond our wolfness, is to ask "What does God want from me?", "How does God feel about what is happening around us and beyond us?", "What does God want me praying about?" and "What does God want me doing?"
When we do seek God and what he is wanting from us, we still need to be de-wolfing our actions. Often times, when we are doing the work God has called to us too, others notice our efforts, rather than his efforts through us. Francis Chan challenges us that "a sure sign of the Holy Spirit's working is that Christ is magnified, not people....Let's pray that God would empower us so radically that we would get no glory. That people would see our works and glorify God."
Can you imagine what would happen in your marriage if you were asking God how he wants you to represent yourself as a husband or wife today? He knows best how he wants to be reflected through you. Ask him! Remember, God does want us to take our requests to him. And, when we are surrendered to his way and his time, our requests will become more Christ-centered rather than self-centered.
Recently I have been reading Francis Chan's book "Forgotten God: Reversing Our Tragic Neglect of the Holy Spirit". It has challenged me to check my prayers. Chan's challenge is for us to not view the Holy Spirit as "a commodity to be bought or traded according to our individual wants, whims or even our felt needs". Indeed, how often are my prayers directed by my individual wants, whims or felt needs. God does want us to bring all of these things to him, but he also desires to have a two-way relationship with us. When we have a two-way relationship we are also seeking out what the other person wants and what their felt needs are. So the question for each of us, while we move beyond our wolfness, is to ask "What does God want from me?", "How does God feel about what is happening around us and beyond us?", "What does God want me praying about?" and "What does God want me doing?"
When we do seek God and what he is wanting from us, we still need to be de-wolfing our actions. Often times, when we are doing the work God has called to us too, others notice our efforts, rather than his efforts through us. Francis Chan challenges us that "a sure sign of the Holy Spirit's working is that Christ is magnified, not people....Let's pray that God would empower us so radically that we would get no glory. That people would see our works and glorify God."
Can you imagine what would happen in your marriage if you were asking God how he wants you to represent yourself as a husband or wife today? He knows best how he wants to be reflected through you. Ask him! Remember, God does want us to take our requests to him. And, when we are surrendered to his way and his time, our requests will become more Christ-centered rather than self-centered.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Will The Real Wolf Please Step Forward (Team Jacob or Team Edward)?
Last night I saw the lastest movie in the Twilight series and it made me think of Wolves. Countless females (of all ages) have joined the ranks of Team Edward or Team Jacob with the underlying question of who is best for Bella! I think there is a very valuable lesson in how we choose a mate. Some may be offended that I am using a vampire/wolf story line with scripture, however, the reality is that countless teens and women are following this story line and indeed it is shaping views of what love is!
First, let's explore what Edward has to offer. He is charming (he even sparkles in the light). He says he would give his life for Bella (and has come close). He loves her with a intense love. He has learned to control his vampire desire for human blood and only consumes the blood of animals. And, to top it off, he is a true gentleman and wants her to maintain her purity till marriage. Edward does have his limitations though. He doesn't have life blood running through his veins, so he can't provide Bella with the practical human need of body warmth when she is freezing to death. For Bella to really be with Edward she will have to surrender her life and become a vampire.
Jacob loves Bella also. Ironically, Jacob is a wolf and by wolf I mean a real wolf. Even though Bella has professed her love to Edward, Jacob still loves Bella and does his best to protect her even at the expense of himself. Jacob is a little rough around the edges and has a harder time controlling some of his emotions. Jacob still has life blood running through his veins, so he can provide Bella with the practical! He keeps her warm when she is freezing to death. For Bella to be with Jacob, she doesn't have to change. She doesn't have to give up her life as she knows it.
So what is the right answer? Each week I encounter Wolves and their spouse. The stories have a common theme. The Wolf was charming at first! They had this intense passionate love at first! Overtime, the spouse of the Wolf looses themself. Their world becomes one that revolves around the Wolf, his/her needs, wants, and demands. The spouse often feels like the life blood has been sucked out of them? Hmmmmmm?
The real questions are "Has Edward's nature really changed?" "Is he capable of unconditional love?" "Does Bella really understand what she is sacrificing to be with Edward?" To be with Edward, she has to go through the transition of being self-consumed by desiring human blood more than anything.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (Message Translation) says
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut.
Doesn't have a swelled head.
Doesn't force itself on others.
Isn't always "me first."
Doesn't fly off the handle.
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others.
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything.
Trust God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back
But keeps going to the end.
Team Jacob, what do you think? How does Jacob measure up? Team Edward, what do you think? How does Edward measure up? As much as I personally am drawn to the character of Edward, at my core I believe Jacob is the better choice. Bella's relationship with Edward reflects the modern day "romance addiction." In the long run, those type of relationships have ALOT to overcome. They usually don't last forever. Whereas, the "practical love" of Jacob has the ability to stand the test of time.
First, let's explore what Edward has to offer. He is charming (he even sparkles in the light). He says he would give his life for Bella (and has come close). He loves her with a intense love. He has learned to control his vampire desire for human blood and only consumes the blood of animals. And, to top it off, he is a true gentleman and wants her to maintain her purity till marriage. Edward does have his limitations though. He doesn't have life blood running through his veins, so he can't provide Bella with the practical human need of body warmth when she is freezing to death. For Bella to really be with Edward she will have to surrender her life and become a vampire.
Jacob loves Bella also. Ironically, Jacob is a wolf and by wolf I mean a real wolf. Even though Bella has professed her love to Edward, Jacob still loves Bella and does his best to protect her even at the expense of himself. Jacob is a little rough around the edges and has a harder time controlling some of his emotions. Jacob still has life blood running through his veins, so he can provide Bella with the practical! He keeps her warm when she is freezing to death. For Bella to be with Jacob, she doesn't have to change. She doesn't have to give up her life as she knows it.
So what is the right answer? Each week I encounter Wolves and their spouse. The stories have a common theme. The Wolf was charming at first! They had this intense passionate love at first! Overtime, the spouse of the Wolf looses themself. Their world becomes one that revolves around the Wolf, his/her needs, wants, and demands. The spouse often feels like the life blood has been sucked out of them? Hmmmmmm?
The real questions are "Has Edward's nature really changed?" "Is he capable of unconditional love?" "Does Bella really understand what she is sacrificing to be with Edward?" To be with Edward, she has to go through the transition of being self-consumed by desiring human blood more than anything.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (Message Translation) says
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut.
Doesn't have a swelled head.
Doesn't force itself on others.
Isn't always "me first."
Doesn't fly off the handle.
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others.
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything.
Trust God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back
But keeps going to the end.
Team Jacob, what do you think? How does Jacob measure up? Team Edward, what do you think? How does Edward measure up? As much as I personally am drawn to the character of Edward, at my core I believe Jacob is the better choice. Bella's relationship with Edward reflects the modern day "romance addiction." In the long run, those type of relationships have ALOT to overcome. They usually don't last forever. Whereas, the "practical love" of Jacob has the ability to stand the test of time.
Monday, July 5, 2010
When Amongst Wolves, Do NOT Defend Yourself
A person with a healthy self-esteem knows how to stand up for themselves. However, when you are in a relationship with a Wolf, this may not be the wisest thing to do. Wolves are master manipulators and masters at creating the image they want other's to see. When situations arise where you are getting the blame for something you didn't do, or your intentions are being misconstrued by a Wolf, take a step back before you react.
First, is your heart right before God in what you were doing. Take a moment to pray about the situation and see if their is any wrong doing on your part. If there is, seek forgiveness from God and from the person you wronged. It is our responsibility to be reconciled with others as much as it is in our power to do so.
However, if you are right before God and you were doing what He had directed you to do and you are still being accused and condemned...you are in good company. Remember, the Pharisees were relentless with Jesus. Or how about Elijah, Queen Jezebel was relentless in her pursuit to get rid of him. Wolves don't like anything or anyone who exposes their selfish motives, even if it is just mere kindness of another.
Psalms 37:6 LB) says "Your innocence will be clear to everyone. He will vindicate you with the blazing light of justice shining down as from the noonday sun." Who defends you? Remember God will defend you! Psalms 37:7 goes a step further and says, "Rest in the Lord; wait patiently for him to act. Don't be envious of evil men who prosper." God knows there is a time when it will appear like the Wolf is prospering, but He wants us to be patient and rest in him. He knows! And, when He is readly, He vindicates with the blazing light of the noontime sun! Psalms 37:8 says while you are waiting to "Stop your anger! Turn off your wrath. Don't fret and worry-it only leads to harm." Clearly, God has other ways of dealing with self-absorbed Wolves that are beyond our understanding. We don't need to worry. We don't need to complain. We don't need to defend. We need to be careful that our reaction isn't in anger, as this will only lead to harm. We are told to rest and wait!
What is happening right now with the Wolf in your life where you need to rest and wait? God will intervene in His time and His way!
First, is your heart right before God in what you were doing. Take a moment to pray about the situation and see if their is any wrong doing on your part. If there is, seek forgiveness from God and from the person you wronged. It is our responsibility to be reconciled with others as much as it is in our power to do so.
However, if you are right before God and you were doing what He had directed you to do and you are still being accused and condemned...you are in good company. Remember, the Pharisees were relentless with Jesus. Or how about Elijah, Queen Jezebel was relentless in her pursuit to get rid of him. Wolves don't like anything or anyone who exposes their selfish motives, even if it is just mere kindness of another.
Psalms 37:6 LB) says "Your innocence will be clear to everyone. He will vindicate you with the blazing light of justice shining down as from the noonday sun." Who defends you? Remember God will defend you! Psalms 37:7 goes a step further and says, "Rest in the Lord; wait patiently for him to act. Don't be envious of evil men who prosper." God knows there is a time when it will appear like the Wolf is prospering, but He wants us to be patient and rest in him. He knows! And, when He is readly, He vindicates with the blazing light of the noontime sun! Psalms 37:8 says while you are waiting to "Stop your anger! Turn off your wrath. Don't fret and worry-it only leads to harm." Clearly, God has other ways of dealing with self-absorbed Wolves that are beyond our understanding. We don't need to worry. We don't need to complain. We don't need to defend. We need to be careful that our reaction isn't in anger, as this will only lead to harm. We are told to rest and wait!
What is happening right now with the Wolf in your life where you need to rest and wait? God will intervene in His time and His way!
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Behind What Closed Door Does Your Wolf Lurk?
We have all heard the expression, "When you have one finger pointing at the other person, just remember three fingers are pointing at you." Or, Matthew 7:3 cautions us that when we see a speck in our friends eye, their is a log in ours. We are SO often blinded to our own self-centeredness that is SO visible to others.
There are several ways to de-wolf our blind spots. One way is to ask those closest to us, "What area of my life do I have a hard time seeing?" A word of caution here...if you are married to a Wolf, this isn't the person you should be asking. Ask someone who you trust, that you know has your best interest at heart. Another way is to pray and ask God to reveal to you what your blind spots are? Our reactions and words also reveal our blind spots. Ask yourself what you are most inclined to react too? Is it someone criticizing you? Is it someone questioning your intentions? Is it someone judging you? Our reactions reveal what is in our heart!
Another way we reveal what is in our heart is by what we talk about. Do you gossip? Do you speak ill will of others? Proverbs 17:27 & 28 tell us that a wise man has few words and even a fool can be thought to be wise if he is silent. Our words can be a direct reflection of what is in our heart!
How you invest your time also reveals your heart. Where does the chunk of your time go too? When you have free time, where do you invest it? Are you investing it in others or yourself? Don't get me wrong here, self-care is important. However, Jesus didn't retreat all the time. He spent most of his time serving others.
Another place where our hearts are revealed is in how we spend money. This can be a huge blind spot for many of us as we try to survive life. One reason tything is so important is that it is a starting point of acknowledging that it is all God's in the first place, rather than ours. I think God knows our natural inclination is ourself. Over and over research and statistics reveal that one of the main reasons for marital breakups is money. If you think about it, what does this say about self-centeredness? What does this say about my way or the high way? At the core is that classic line "I want what I want when I want it."
Luke 11:41 (LB) says "Purity is best demonstrated by generosity." Do your actions speak generosity to others? Do your reactions speak generosity to others? Do you words speak generosity to others? Does your time speak generosity to others? Do your finances speak generosity to others? Where we lack generosity is a door a wolf may be lurking.
There are several ways to de-wolf our blind spots. One way is to ask those closest to us, "What area of my life do I have a hard time seeing?" A word of caution here...if you are married to a Wolf, this isn't the person you should be asking. Ask someone who you trust, that you know has your best interest at heart. Another way is to pray and ask God to reveal to you what your blind spots are? Our reactions and words also reveal our blind spots. Ask yourself what you are most inclined to react too? Is it someone criticizing you? Is it someone questioning your intentions? Is it someone judging you? Our reactions reveal what is in our heart!
Another way we reveal what is in our heart is by what we talk about. Do you gossip? Do you speak ill will of others? Proverbs 17:27 & 28 tell us that a wise man has few words and even a fool can be thought to be wise if he is silent. Our words can be a direct reflection of what is in our heart!
How you invest your time also reveals your heart. Where does the chunk of your time go too? When you have free time, where do you invest it? Are you investing it in others or yourself? Don't get me wrong here, self-care is important. However, Jesus didn't retreat all the time. He spent most of his time serving others.
Another place where our hearts are revealed is in how we spend money. This can be a huge blind spot for many of us as we try to survive life. One reason tything is so important is that it is a starting point of acknowledging that it is all God's in the first place, rather than ours. I think God knows our natural inclination is ourself. Over and over research and statistics reveal that one of the main reasons for marital breakups is money. If you think about it, what does this say about self-centeredness? What does this say about my way or the high way? At the core is that classic line "I want what I want when I want it."
Luke 11:41 (LB) says "Purity is best demonstrated by generosity." Do your actions speak generosity to others? Do your reactions speak generosity to others? Do you words speak generosity to others? Does your time speak generosity to others? Do your finances speak generosity to others? Where we lack generosity is a door a wolf may be lurking.
Monday, June 28, 2010
What Your Words Reveal About Your Heart
Our words, actions, and reactions are a gateway to reveal what is going on in our heart. Even when our intentions are innocent,someone may misinterpreted our them and our reaction to that situation reveals our heart. Being falsely accused is never an easy thing. Wolves are masters at manipulating situations and projecting their "issues" onto you. And, if you take the bait...beware. You don't need to take the bait. You have someone who already knows your heart, even better than you yourself. But God promises us that when we are innocent He will make it known. We do not need to defend ourselves. He defends His work and if He is working in your, He will defend His work. Psalms 37:6 says "He will make your innocence radiate like dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noon day sun."
A heart that is open and willing to change is willing to reflect on their actions and reactions. It is also willing to take responsibility for their action. A closed heart is one that jumps to conclusions. It quickly blames. It isn't willing to take responsibility for any of its actions or reactions. The open heart doesn't spend their time talking about the wrongs committed by the other, rather they are looking at what they may have said or done to contribute to the situation. They are looking at what can I do to change this pattern of interaction with this person. A person who is stuck in their issues will say it is the other persons fault. They will profess if the other person wouldn't have done x, they wouldn't have had to do y.
Being falsely accused is never easy. Having your motives called into questions is never easy. Especially if you meant no harm or were innocent. If your security is in Christ and who He created you to be; and if your trust is in Christ and the work He is accomplishing in you then you have no need to fear. It may be best for you to be silent. Remember it is God who defends His work. He really doesn't need your help. It reminds me of Christ, when he was being questions by the Pharisees before his crucifixion. He was being falsely accused and his response was silence!
And when you have a Wolf in your life, you will be falsely accused. Your motives will be questions. Wolves don't like taking responsibility for their actions. In fact, they "project" their issues on to you. For them it is imperative that they come out looking "good". God even covered this one for your, in Matthew 10:16 tells us that when we are amidst wolves we are to be as gentle as a dove and as cunning as a snake.
Relationships reveal alot about our hearts. They are a perfect place for us to reflect. They are a perfect place for God to reveal where our hearts need mending. So, the next time you encounter a relational "issue", stop and take a moment with the Lord. Ask Him what He has to teach YOU in this moment, not what He has to teach the other person. It is about you and His work in you! The minute you make it about them...your heart has been revealed and you might just find your own Wolf lurking inside of you.
A heart that is open and willing to change is willing to reflect on their actions and reactions. It is also willing to take responsibility for their action. A closed heart is one that jumps to conclusions. It quickly blames. It isn't willing to take responsibility for any of its actions or reactions. The open heart doesn't spend their time talking about the wrongs committed by the other, rather they are looking at what they may have said or done to contribute to the situation. They are looking at what can I do to change this pattern of interaction with this person. A person who is stuck in their issues will say it is the other persons fault. They will profess if the other person wouldn't have done x, they wouldn't have had to do y.
Being falsely accused is never easy. Having your motives called into questions is never easy. Especially if you meant no harm or were innocent. If your security is in Christ and who He created you to be; and if your trust is in Christ and the work He is accomplishing in you then you have no need to fear. It may be best for you to be silent. Remember it is God who defends His work. He really doesn't need your help. It reminds me of Christ, when he was being questions by the Pharisees before his crucifixion. He was being falsely accused and his response was silence!
And when you have a Wolf in your life, you will be falsely accused. Your motives will be questions. Wolves don't like taking responsibility for their actions. In fact, they "project" their issues on to you. For them it is imperative that they come out looking "good". God even covered this one for your, in Matthew 10:16 tells us that when we are amidst wolves we are to be as gentle as a dove and as cunning as a snake.
Relationships reveal alot about our hearts. They are a perfect place for us to reflect. They are a perfect place for God to reveal where our hearts need mending. So, the next time you encounter a relational "issue", stop and take a moment with the Lord. Ask Him what He has to teach YOU in this moment, not what He has to teach the other person. It is about you and His work in you! The minute you make it about them...your heart has been revealed and you might just find your own Wolf lurking inside of you.
Friday, June 25, 2010
I finally decided to breakdown and join the world of blogging. My resistance...all these new avenues of self-absorption. My denial...all these new avenues of marketing and getting the word out.
My prayer is that this blog can be one of wisdom, insight, and understanding to support and encourage those of you suriving in a self-absorbed marriage. A place where you can come to and not feel so alone. I personally remember being so alone in my first marriage, never being able to put my finger on what was really going on. I remember feeling at times like I was going crazy. I knew something wasn't right, I just couldn't figure it out.
The stories behind the WOLF: The Self-Absorbed Christian Marriage are ALL true! They were real experiences! They are all masked in confidentiality. Some are my stories, some are close friends stories, and some are client's stories. We all had one thing in common, a painful marriage that wasn't a living example of Christ's relationship with His bride the church. And, with that came much confusion and self-doubt.
There are NO easy answers to a self-absorbed marriage. It is a process. There is hope! Join the journey with others as you de-wolf your own self-centeredness and learn what it means to be all the Christ intended for you to be!
My prayer is that this blog can be one of wisdom, insight, and understanding to support and encourage those of you suriving in a self-absorbed marriage. A place where you can come to and not feel so alone. I personally remember being so alone in my first marriage, never being able to put my finger on what was really going on. I remember feeling at times like I was going crazy. I knew something wasn't right, I just couldn't figure it out.
The stories behind the WOLF: The Self-Absorbed Christian Marriage are ALL true! They were real experiences! They are all masked in confidentiality. Some are my stories, some are close friends stories, and some are client's stories. We all had one thing in common, a painful marriage that wasn't a living example of Christ's relationship with His bride the church. And, with that came much confusion and self-doubt.
There are NO easy answers to a self-absorbed marriage. It is a process. There is hope! Join the journey with others as you de-wolf your own self-centeredness and learn what it means to be all the Christ intended for you to be!
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