About WOLF

This blog is for those suffering from living in a marriage with a spouse who is self-absorbed. Ranging from mere selfishness to the personality disorder of Narcissism, society is replete with this characteristic. A marriage suffering from self-absorption is filled with confusion, unmet needs, loneliness, questions, and resentment. For the Christian committed to a covenant marriage, this is acutely painful as he or she begins to feel trapped in his or her own vows. The reality is there are faithful followers of Christ who are married to people who wear the mask of Christianity because it makes them look good, while their motives are self-centered rather than Christ-centered. Biblical prinicples and truths still apply, but the spouse of a Narcissist has these truths bashed over their head. There is hope, because Jesus also provided insight into dealing with Pharisees who bashed "truths" over other's heads.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Alex, I'll take " Wolf Relationships" for $200

A relationship with a Wolf is like playing Jeopardy. You have your catagories...My Needs/Wants/Desires, Spouses Needs/Wants/Desires, Marriage, Wolf Relationships, Biblical Directives, and What Other's See. So, let's play!

Contestant: "Alex, I will take Biblical Directives for $200"

Alex: It is commonly know as the love chapter and is used at most weddings to define love."

Contestant: "What is 1st Corinthians 13:4-7?"

Score! $200 points

Contestant: "Alex, I will take Wolf Relationsip for $200"

Alex: "Wise words given by Jesus for interacting with wolves...to be as cunning as snake and inoffensive as a dove"

Contestant: "What is Matthew 10:16?"

Score! $200 points

The problem is, in Jeopardy your opponents are usually also very skilled.

Contestant: "Alex, I will take My Needs/Wants/Directives for $200

Alex: When you are at your wits end and can't figure out what the next right step is in your relationship?"

We all know that there are those questions that stump us! And, in the final Jeopardy question we have difficult choices to make. If we are ahead in the game, we have to figure out the best strategy for staying in the game. If we are behind in the game, we have to lay it all on the line and hope it is enough to stay in the game. A marriage with a Wolf has those defining moments when we are at our wit's end and have no clue what the question is going to be or if we have enough resources to stay in the game and wait for the question and then figure out the answer.

Here my friend is actually a good place to be! It may feel terrifying. It may be triggering every insecurity, hurt, and fear you have. It is at this place where we have no where to turn, except to God! We have reached the end of ourselves (finally) and have only the option of relying on him. Karl Barth said, "When we are at our wit's end for an answer, then the Holy Spirit can give us an answer. But how can He give us an answer when we are still well supplied with all sorts of answers of our own."

So today, in your confusion, emptiness, loss, loneliness...take comfort! Comfort in knowing that you are actually in a good place and the answer is there! God has it waiting for you!
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